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Do you appreciate your body?
The human body is truly a wonderful, beautiful, and amazing thing. Just think about all the great things it does for you daily: breathing, walking, digesting food, doing everything it can to keep you from getting sick, and some much more.
When you appreciate your body, you acknowledge all the vital things your body does for you every day that keeps you alive and healthy.
So why, then, is our body the one area where many of us struggle to appreciate ourselves?
Many people, myself included, can be hyper-critical of how they look and their bodies’ size, shape, and appearance. Throughout my life, some of the deepest pain and self-loathing I’ve felt has had to do with feeling flawed or simply not good enough physically.
We live in a culture that has an obsession with appearance.
While there is nothing wrong with us wanting to take care of ourselves and even wanting to look good, I think that many of us go overboard with this.
We tend to compare ourselves to others, making us feel like we’re in constant competition.
Remember: life is not a competition. We are all growing and learning in our own ways. What if we stopped competing with other people and focused more on ourselves?
We forget that our ability to appreciate our bodies isn’t actually about how much we weigh, how tall we are, the size of particular body parts, how our skin looks, how much hair we have (a big one for me over the past two decades), or anything else. Instead, it all has to do with how we feel about our bodies and our appearance.
Here’s Why It’s Important to Appreciate Your Body and Love Yourself
We can appreciate our body at any time and for any reason. There are so many things about our bodies that are great, work well, and look good. But, unfortunately, we often forget to focus on the good stuff about our bodies, instead choosing to pay attention to the areas where we think we “need work.”
These days we spend and waste way too much time comparing ourselves to others we see on social media. It’s easy to think that these people are perfect, but the truth is, no one is perfect.
Everyone has their flaws, and everyone has insecurities. Therefore, let’s stop comparing ourselves to other people.
Here are just a few reasons to love your body.
- Your body is unique to you, and only you
- Your body needs nutrients and energy to survive
- All bodies change with time
- You’re beautiful just the way you are
- Your body does so many amazing things for you every single day
- Your body keeps you alive
- Your body has gotten you through the most challenging times of your life
- Your body lets you do all the activities you love to do
The world of form (which is where our bodies reside) constantly changes and evolves. While we would not expect to have the body size and appearance that we did when we were toddlers, we should not expect to look the same at 40 as we did at 20 or at 65 as we did when we were 45. It is almost as if we’re trying to apologize for being human, aging, or being physical beings.
How to Start Appreciating Your Body
One of the best things we can do for ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually is to appreciate ourselves and our bodies. Be grateful for your body and everything it does for you.
This is something I’ve struggled with and found challenging for much of my life. As they say, “We teach best what we most need to learn.” While our culture talks about body image and appearance issues quite a bit, I don’t think we go very deep in our inquiry or discussion about it.
We primarily focus on the surface – food, weight, skincare, haircare, clothes, plastic surgery, etc. None of that stuff matters if we don’t ultimately feel good about ourselves and our bodies.
As with most things in life, appreciation, when genuine, comes first and can lead to the outcome, result, and feeling we desire. Instead of holding our breath until we lose those 10 or 20 pounds or get whatever we think we need to get to feel better about our bodies and appearance, let’s start appreciating ourselves. What if we started right here, right now, and appreciated our bodies exactly as they are? What if we loved them unconditionally?
Here are some tips on how to start loving your body.
- Stop attaching yourself to meeting conventional beauty norms
- Get to know yourself and your body
- Shower your body with love and gratitude
- Make it a habit to do something nice for yourself and your body every day
- Remember that happiness comes from the inside
- Repeat to yourself that your body deserves love
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- Stop judging other people’s bodies as well as yours
- Spend less time on social media, especially when you find yourself comparing
Being able to appreciate ourselves physically, while challenging for many of us, can and will create such a sense of freedom, peace, and love in your life – for yourself and with others. I’m working on it – want to join me? Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, actions, and more on my blog below.
I have written five books about the importance of trust, authenticity, appreciation, and more. I deliver keynotes and seminars (both in-person and virtually) to empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. As an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more authentic and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today. You can also listen to my podcast here.
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Let Success Chase You
Want What You Have
The Power of Getting Real
This article was published on May 3, 2008, and has been updated for 2021.
Are you facing challenges in your life or your business right now? Most of us are, especially with everything we’ve been through this past year and half collectively.
Facing challenges is never easy, and these days, there are some real challenges many of us face – at work, at home, in relationships, with money, with family, in the world, and much more.
The challenges themselves, even the most difficult ones, aren’t usually the real issue.
The Real Issue Behind Facing Challenges
The real issue that we face when it comes to challenges is our relationship to them.
Our relationship with challenges is what can bring about the most difficulty and suffering. Think of what your life, your relationships, and your career would be like if you didn’t complain about or resist challenges when they showed up. For most of us, myself included, this would make things very different and much more enjoyable.
So why do we struggle so much when we’re facing challenges? How can we improve our relationship with challenges and learn how to overcome them in a healthy way?
Overcoming Resistance
Resisting, complaining about, or even feeling sorry for ourselves about the “bad” things that are happening is normal. We’re often encouraged to deal with challenges this way by the people around us and our culture in general – whether we do it out loud or just in our heads.
However, while understandable, these things don’t address the real issues, the genuine emotions we’re experiencing, or make things better for us.
I’m not advocating that we pretend everything is “fine” when it isn’t in some phony way – this can be denial or toxic positivity, neither of which will help.
When it comes to dealing with difficulty, the question in life isn’t whether or not we’ll face challenges. The question is, what will we do, and how will we respond when they arise?
Do we avoid dealing with difficult things and learning from them by playing the role of the victim and not acknowledging our true feelings about them, or do we face them directly, acknowledge our emotions, and choose to grow from the experience?
It’s always up to us.
On our path of life, growth, and success, we all encounter difficulties. The road to success is full of lessons from failure, making mistakes, and facing challenges.
You cannot succeed if you don’t experience failure. It’s how you deal with failure that determines how successful you can be.
Challenges can be amazing learning experiences – things that force you to grow and change.
Many of the most successful and fulfilled people who’ve ever walked the planet have faced incredible obstacles. But they learned how to get back up after they fell.
What if we appreciated these challenges? Remember, appreciating something doesn’t necessarily mean we like or enjoy it. Appreciation means that we recognize the value of it.
How Facing Challenges Can Help Us Grow
Here’s a list of some things we can appreciate when things get tough:
- Challenges often give us important feedback about where and who we are
- Challenges give us contrast and can help us appreciate things when they get easier
- Challenges can allow us to wake up and notice all the good things that are happening that we weren’t paying attention to
- Challenges are almost always an excellent opportunity for learning, growth, and improvement
- Challenges allow us to get in touch with, take responsibility for, and express our real emotions
By learning to appreciate our challenges and see the opportunities in them, we take our power back from the situations and circumstances of our lives.
Our ability to appreciate difficulties, learn from them, and use them to our advantage gives us an important insight into who we are and how to create success and fulfillment consciously and deliberately.
Here’s What You Can Do
Make a list of some of the biggest challenges in your life right now. Answer these questions about them:
- What can you appreciate about each of these difficulties?
- What are you learning from them?
- What are you able to appreciate in yourself and your life because of these things?
If you look for it, you’ll be able to find many things to appreciate about every one of them.
It’s time to get real about how we feel and to face our challenges head-on.
Appreciating these difficulties can allow us to accept them, learn from them, and ultimately take back our power from them. Doing this reminds us that we’re the authors of our lives – not the circumstances we’re facing.
Where in your life are you currently facing challenges? What do you appreciate about these specific challenges (i.e., what are you learning from them and what can you be grateful for about dealing with them)? Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, actions, and more on my blog below.
I have written five books about the importance of trust, authenticity, appreciation, and more. I deliver keynotes and seminars (both in-person and virtually) to empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. As an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more authentic and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today. You can also listen to my podcast here.
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Appreciate the Simple Things
The Importance of Flexibility
Life is Not a Competition
This article was published on February 10, 2011 and updated for 2021.
With all that has been going on over the past year or so, many of us have been “falling down” in so many areas of life and business.
When you fall, do you get back up right away?
When you fail, do you learn from it and take it as an opportunity to grow?
Many of us, myself included, struggle at times with learning from our failures. We sometimes give up as soon as we fail, not realizing that what is necessary is to push a bit harder until we reach a breakthrough.
How to Get Back Up When You Fall
Have you ever seen a small child learn how to walk? If you have, you know what a remarkable experience it is.
I’d heard about this but had never witnessed it until Samantha, our now fifteen-year-old daughter, took her first steps when she was just over a year. She and I were playing in our family room one night, and although she’d taken a step or two here and there and could get around okay while holding onto an adult or a piece of furniture, she hadn’t really “walked” yet.
That night, I held her hands and pulled her across the room with me as she took some steps. I decided to let go to see what would happen. I did, and she took a step or two and then fell, face first, on the soft carpet. She was fine. She looked up at me, and although she couldn’t speak yet, she made it very clear that she wanted me to pick her up so she could try again. I did, and this time when I let go, she took about four or five actual steps and then fell. I screamed, “You did it!”, started clapping wildly and yelling for my wife Michelle to come into the room.
Michelle came running in. Samantha and I went to the far end of our family room. I held her hands to steady her, started walking with her across the floor, let go, and then it happened – she really walked – across the room, by herself. When she fell, Michelle and I were so delighted and moved, we both burst into tears and joyous laughter at the same time.
Samantha, so proud of herself, began to shriek with excitement and to clap her hands as she was lying there on the floor. And, of course, she wanted to get back up and go again.
Moving Through the Ups and Downs of Life
We all know how to do this – fall and get back up. Assuming we know how to walk, which most of us are fortunate enough to do, we went through this specific and miraculous experience ourselves when we were very small.
We’ve also gone through it in a figurative sense many other times as we move through the ups and downs of life, especially recently. The question isn’t whether or not we’ll fall; the question is will we be bold enough to get back up again?
Remember: it’s okay to do it wrong. Too often, sadly, we fall or make a mistake, and then decide we can’t get back up. Boldness is about having the courage, willingness, and commitment to get up when we fall – even if we’re scared or don’t think we can.
Resisting, complaining, or even feeling sorry for ourselves about the “bad” things that happen is normal and what we’re often encouraged to do by people around us and our culture in general – whether we do it out loud with others or just in our heads.
However, while understandable, these things don’t address the real issues, the emotions we’re experiencing, or make things better for us.
Let Your Challenges Become Opportunities for Growth
Facing difficulties in our life can be incredibly beneficial – if we choose to allow our challenges to be growth opportunities.
Below is a list of some things to appreciate when we “fall down” in life. Obstacles, failures, and challenges can:
- Give us important feedback about where and who we are
- Provide an opportunity for us to be courageous
- Allow us to wake up and notice all the good things that are happening that we hadn’t been paying attention to
- Give us an excellent opportunity for learning, growth, and improvement
- Allow us to learn to appreciate ourselves, even when things don’t turn out exactly as we want them to
- Give us an opportunity to get in touch with, take responsibility for, and express our real emotions in an authentic way
- Challenge us to play bigger, make adjustments, or rethink our approach
By learning to see our challenges as opportunities, we take our power back from situations, circumstances, and outcomes in our life.
Our ability to appreciate difficulties, learn from them, and use them to our advantage, gives us an important insight into who we really are and how to create success and fulfillment in a conscious, deliberate, and authentic way.
Being bold, going for what we want, and living with authenticity doesn’t in any way mean we won’t fail, struggle, or fall short. If we aren’t failing or facing any challenges at all, it’s probably a good indication that we aren’t playing all that big in our lives.
Failure is a Key Part of Success
Failure isn’t the opposite of success, it’s a part of success. It teaches us about resilience, courage, growth, and support. Failure is a stepping stone to achieving all of our goals.
Every time you fail, there is a 100 % chance that it will teach you something. It is vital to use failure as a teaching tool to improve yourself and your skills, whether it be about decision-making, problem-solving, or more.
Many people associate failure with defeat, but it’s crucial to change your mindset about it. By learning and growing from our failures, we thrive, step outside of our comfort zone, and gain new perspectives.
Failure is ever-present in life – from the moment we take our first steps to our present life. It helps us grow and makes us stronger. It also allows us to learn from our weaknesses and develop our strengths.
Everyone fails, and everyone reacts to failure differently. We need to make peace with the fact that we will fall many times throughout our journey. However, when we commit ourselves to get back up, dust ourselves off, be honest about how we feel and what happened, and not let it stop us from being who we are and going for what we want – we tap into what true power, boldness, and authenticity are all about.
As Mark Twain reminds us in one of his many famous quotes,
“Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth.”
Where in your life have you recently fallen down? Have you gotten back up yet? If so, great – acknowledge yourself. If not, what will it take for you to get back up, learn from the experience, and appreciate yourself in the process? Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, actions, and more on my blog below.
I have written five books about the importance of trust, authenticity, appreciation, and more. I deliver keynotes and seminars (both in-person and virtually) to empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. As an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more authentic and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today. You can also listen to my podcast here.
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Are You Threatened By Other People’s Success?
This article was published on December 2, 2010, and has been updated for 2021.
Life is not a competition – although sometimes it can seem that way. Unfortunately, jealousy can get the best of us.
Answer these questions honestly:
How often do you find yourself getting jealous of other people?
Does jealousy affect the way you perceive others or the way you perceive yourself?
For much of my life, I’ve been aware of my tendency to compare, compete, and be jealous of others (thinking that I don’t measure up).
But I’ve learned how to navigate these feelings of jealousy by understanding the difference between negative competition and positive competition.
How I Learned That Life is Not a Competition
As a kid, a teenager, and a young adult, I was under the constant impression that life is a competition, which was a big issue for me and seemed to make sense, especially as someone involved in competitive baseball. Since my pro baseball career ended when I was 25 and because I’ve done quite a bit of personal growth work over the past few decades, I erroneously believed that I’d evolved past spending or wasting much of my time and energy being jealous of others.
However, I have recently gone through a few different situations, which have been a friendly reminder of how jealous and competitive I can still be.
Through a series of intense conversations with a few of my good friends, I realized that much of the conflict and judgment that shows up in my relationships with them (and others) has to do with me being overly competitive with them. However, I’m not usually aware of it or honest about it. I get very jealous but often pretend that I don’t.
Can you relate?
How to Navigate Jealousy
It’s easy to tell someone that life is not a competition, but it’s hard to eliminate jealousy within ourselves. It takes a lot of self-reflection and understanding of who we are and what we think of ourselves to work through our jealousy.
We live in a very competitive culture. Early in life we learn to compete (with siblings, classmates, teammates, and more). As we get out into the “real world,” we often continue to compete with family members, friends, co-workers, and others, especially in our professional lives.
We are taught, directly and indirectly, that this competition is a good thing and that it is essential for success. This focus on competition has us relate to life as a game we’re trying to win and the people around us as our “competitors,” even if they’re the people we love and care about most.
The Negative Effects of Competition
Negative competition can result in lower self-esteem. It can also significantly impact our relationships with family members, loved ones, friends, and even colleagues. This can then lead to anxiety, judgment, anger, loneliness, and stress.
It is crucial to transform our negative comparisons so that we can grow, learn, and accept ourselves.
But how do we do that?
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to “win” whatever “games” we play in life. The problem is that due to our insecurity, we often focus on beating others or think that other people’s success, talent, or even their happiness has something to do with us.
In other words, we often root against the fulfillment of other people, so we can feel better about ourselves or try to show others up and dominate them as a way to feel superior. While these tendencies are normal and natural, they are also counter-productive, stressful, and ultimately harmful.
The Important Difference Between Positive Competition and Negative Competition
As I have written about and spoken about for many years, there is both negative competition and positive competition. Negative competition, which most of us are more familiar with, comes from an adolescent notion that when we win, we’re “good,” and when we lose, we’re “bad.” It’s all about being better than or feeling inferior to others – based on certain external factors, results, and accomplishments. No one ever “wins” in this scenario.
Positive competition is about challenging ourselves, pushing ourselves, and allowing the talent, skill, and support of others to help take us to the next level, go deeper and get the most out of our potential. When we compete in this positive and conscious way, it’s beautiful, meaningful, and healthy – and it has nothing to do with our true value as human beings. In other words, we aren’t “better” or “worse” based on how we perform or who wins.
Of course, there are times when we will win and times when we will lose, but living as if life is a competition with everyone around us is incredibly stressful and a recipe for disaster in most cases.
How to Use Competition in a Healthy Way to Empower and Inspire Us
When we’re willing to let go of the erroneous ideas and decisions we made when we were young about who we are and what makes us “successful,” we can step into a more authentic and healthy version of ourselves.
And by doing this, we can truly empower and inspire ourselves to new heights and depths in our relationships, work, and lives. Life isn’t about competing with everyone around us, it’s about challenging ourselves to be the best version of us we can be and appreciating the journey as much as we possibly can.
Who do you compete within your life in an unhealthy or negative way? What’s underneath that competition? Will you let it go? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.
I have written five books about the importance of trust, authenticity, appreciation, and more. I deliver keynotes and seminars (both in-person and virtually) to empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. As an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more authentic and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today. You can also listen to my podcast here.
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This article was published on July 20, 2009 and has been updated for 2021.
Do you take time in your life to appreciate the simple things?
While this can be easier said than done, especially these days, sometimes it’s the simple things in life that bring the most happiness to us. It’s all about taking the time in life to appreciate this stuff.
How I Learned How to Appreciate the Simple Things
A few years ago, my left ear got plugged up, and it was difficult for me to hear out of it for about 48 hours. It was scary and challenging. Thankfully everything was okay, it’s all clear now, and I’m able to hear just fine out of both ears.
Having this happen was yet another example of how easy it is for me to take something simple but essential (like hearing) for granted.
Sadly, we often don’t appreciate the simple things in life until they’re threatened, impacted, or taken away from us somehow, which is an all too often occurrence. Sometimes people don’t realize how important the little things are until it’s too late.
Think of all of the simple (and not so simple) things that we weren’t or still aren’t able to do because of the pandemic…and how much impact this has had on our perspective.
But what if we took the time not only to appreciate but also acknowledge the simple things in our lives all the time in an authentic way? What kind of an impact would that have on our lives, our work, and our relationships? Dramatic, to say the least!
The book A Thousand Things Went Right Today by Ilan Shamir is all about this phenomenon. The book invites readers to take a look at the little things in life humorously. It highlights the importance of appreciating and focusing on positivity in life instead of the negativity we so often see in society every day.
Think about all the simple things that have fallen into place just today to allow you to be sitting here, reading these words right now.
With this in mind, there are two crucial things that you can do right now (and in an ongoing way) to alter the experience of your life, your work, and your relationships extraordinarily.
Two Things That Can Help You Appreciate the Simple Things in Life
1) Be Easily Impressed
It doesn’t have to take much to be easily impressed. In fact, by actively paying attention to the positive things around us in life, we can be easily impressed by the beauty of life.
To be easily impressed (i.e., to truly appreciate the simple things in life), we have to:
- Look for the good stuff.
- Appreciate the small miracles that occur around us all the time
- Focus on the fantastic aspects of people and situations
- Let go of arrogant, erroneous notions like, “I already know that,” or, “I’ve seen it all,” or, “No big deal.”
When we’re hard to impress, we also make it hard to be happy, grateful, and fulfilled, which are fundamental parts of a happy life.
When we are grateful for the things around us, it makes us feel more positive, gives us more energy, and helps us acknowledge the goodness that occurs in our lives. It helps people feel positive emotions, build stronger relationships, and appreciate their lives more. It also leads to more optimism and less negativity and can even make people less depressed.
When we allow ourselves to be easily impressed, life gets much more fun and interesting.
Appreciation is fundamentally subjective. People and things are only valuable (or not) based upon our perception of them.
If you’re interested in living a life filled with passion, success, and gratitude, it’s in your best interest to allow yourself to be authentically amazed all the time.
Remember that life is a miracle and that people are incredible. You are fantastic.
These things are only valid if we pay attention to them and allow the greatness of life, others, and ourselves to impact our lives.
2) Be Hard to Offend
Being hard to offend is not about us abandoning our values or convictions. It’s more about choosing to allow other people and things to be precisely as they are, without resistance to judgment.
We take so many things personally that have nothing to do with us at all. The more we react to something, the less freedom, and peace we have.
Take a moment to think about what offends you or triggers you. Are there specific situations or people that trigger you?
When I get really “triggered” by someone or something, if I make it all about the other person or the thing I’m focusing on, I usually miss the real gift, the lesson, and the point (i.e., the shadow or mirror that this “negative” thing is showing me about myself and life).
When you take the time to look deep inside and find out what triggers you, it allows you to become more self-aware, enabling you to understand deep down what sets off those feelings and emotions.
We are not victims of the people or circumstances in our lives.
It is crucial not to let people have power over your emotions and feelings. You must let people be responsible for their own emotions.
Remember: others don’t have the power to offend us. As Eleanor Roosevelt so brilliantly stated, “No one can make me feel inferior without my permission.”
This same phenomenon is true about being offended. It’s a choice we make, and we have the power to choose not to be offended in almost every situation.
Unfortunately, most of us (myself included) have these two things flipped upside. In other words, we’re often tricky to impress and easy to offend. And, as you may have noticed, this doesn’t work so well for us and those around us. We can start flipping this around (becoming more easily impressed and more brutal to offend) by appreciating the simple things.
Action Idea – Appreciate the Simple Things Right Now
Take a moment right now to pause and put your attention on all of the simple things you can appreciate at this moment.
Look around where you are, go within yourself, and scan your life right now – focusing on what you appreciate. You can think about these things, talk about them with someone else, or write them down (on a piece of paper, in your journal, in a word document, on my blog or your blog, on social media, and more).
It doesn’t matter what form it takes. It’s about putting our conscious attention on some of the many simple things we can appreciate at this moment.
While “simple,” some of these things may be significant (your health, your job, your most important relationships, etc.) And, even if you focus on basic stuff (the fact that you have a computer or device that allows you to access this article, that your eyes work well enough to read it, that the electricity or battery power running your computer or device is allowing it to function, and more), your ability to recognize and appreciate the “good stuff” in life is directly related to your level of fulfillment and enjoyment.
The Importance of Practicing Gratitude
Never underestimate the power of gratitude. Practicing gratitude is a great way to appreciate the little things in life. It can help you feel more positive emotions, and doing so can help improve your psychological health.
We always choose what we pay attention to, what we focus on, and what we appreciate (or don’t). Commit to yourself to enjoy the simple things in your life in a genuine and ongoing way, and see what happens!
Click here to learn more about the importance of being grateful.
I have written five books about the importance of trust, authenticity, appreciation, and more. I deliver keynotes and seminars (both in-person and virtually) to empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. As an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more authentic and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today. You can also listen to my podcast here.
What “simple” things in your life can you appreciate right now? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.
Liked this post? Here are three more!
The Importance of Flexibility
Remember How Strong You Are
The Important Difference Between Positive and Negative Competition
This article was published on May 18, 2010 and has been updated for 2021.
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