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Archives for March 2010

Act As If

March 24, 2010 7 Comments

I first heard the phrase “act as if” about fifteen or twenty years ago. I remember learning that if we “act as if” we already have something we want, “act as if” something is already occurring in our lives (even if it’s not), or “act as if” we know how to do something (even if we don’t) – we create the conditions for it to manifest in our life with greater easy and probability.

In recent years, this concept has been popularized and even mainstreamed by books, films, and teachers talking about the “law of attraction” (i.e. like attracts like, thoughts create things, we get what we focus on, etc.)

This past week Michelle and I watched a wonderfully inspiring documentary film called Act As If, which had a profound impact on me. The film is about Kathy Delaney-Smith, the head women’s basketball coach at Harvard University. Kathy, who comes from a working class background and didn’t have much basketball or coaching experience, used the power of “acting as if” to become a very successful coach at one of the most elite institutions in the world. She has also used her “act as if” philosophy to teach, train, and inspire her players both on the off the court for the past thirty years.

Most poignantly, Kathy used the power of her mind and her thoughts to act as if she were healthy and strong as she successfully battled through a life-threatening bout of breast cancer. Her story, strength, and attitude are inspiring and courageous.

The message of this film spoke to me on a few different levels. First of all, it brought the worlds of sports and the power of our thoughts and intention together in a meaningful way, which I appreciated. Second, Kathy’s personal story and her approach with her players are both important things we can benefit from, learn from, and take to heart (in business, parenting, teamwork, relationships, and life in general). And, finally, it reminded me how important it is to be conscious of my thoughts, my intentions, and my beliefs.

As I’ve been reflecting on it more, I realize that although I understand the concept of “acting as if” and I write, speak, and teach about how we have the power to create our own reality, in certain areas of my life – especially the ones that are most important to me or the ones where I feel the most cynical and resigned, I often pay “lip service” to acting as if, while simply hoping things will get better, worrying that they won’t, or allowing the outcome to determine how optimistic or pessimistic my outlook and approach will be.

This has been a sobering, but important realization for me this week. There is a big difference between knowing something and living it.

“Acting as if” is about believing in things that don’t currently exist and that there may not be much evidence for. This is about living a “faith-based” life, not an “evidence-based life.” The term “faith-based” often gets used in a political, social, or moral context when talking about initiatives or organizations that are connected with the church or some specific organized religion. However, being a faith-based person, while it can and often does encompass our religious beliefs and our spiritual practices, is even broader than this.

When we choose to live with a strong faith in things not seen, not proven, and not guaranteed – we tap into the power of the possible and we supersede the literal and predicable.

Wayne Dyer wrote a great book a number of years ago called You’ll See it When You Believe it. So many of us, myself included, live important aspect of our lives with the silent mantra of “I’ll believe it when I see it” and in doing so we hold ourselves back, limit what’s possible, and negate the power of our mind, imagination, and intention to allow and create things, situations, experiences, and outcomes that are new, unpredictable, and even miraculous.

For some of us the idea of “acting as if” is basic and fundamental, for others of us it may be new and/or more difficult, and for still others it may seem out there and quite esoteric. Regardless of how we relate to this idea, we’ve all experienced it in our lives in big and small ways. Kathy Delaney-Smith demonstrates it in the Act As If film in a powerful way through her coaching, her battle with cancer, and how she lives life.

The question for us to ask ourselves is, “What am I acting as if will happen in the most important areas of my life right now?”

We often get exactly what we expect – which is a pretty powerful concept if we take time to let it in and live with that awareness. Instead of waiting to see how things turn out, hoping that they will get better, or simply allowing the circumstances and situations in our lives determine how we feel – what if we acted as if we had everything within us and around us that we need to be successful, happy, and fulfilled already – which we do, by the way!

What can you do to “act as if” in your life right now in a way that will release stress, create peace, and help you attract what you want? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.

Filed Under: Blog, Uncategorized Tagged With: Appreciation, authenticity, gratitude, honesty, Kathy Delaney-Smith, law of attraction, manifest, Mike Robbins, Motivational Speaker, self-help, Wayne Dyer

Who Do You Think You Are?

March 3, 2010 7 Comments

Sometimes when I’m about to take a big risk, go for something important, or “step out” in a bold way in my life, I notice the judgmental question, “Who do you think you are?, will pop up in my head.  Does this ever happen to you?

This is one of the many ways that the feelings of “not good enough” or “unworthy” show up in our lives and get in the way of our success, fulfillment, and authenticity.  Sadly, as most of us know, this question doesn’t come from our true self; it comes from our “Gremlin” – that little monster in our head whose only job is to keep us out of perceived danger.  The more we listen to our Gremlin, the more allow him or her to sabotage our life.

However, this question, “Who do you think you are?, while often asked in a negative, critical way and something that we allow to stop us from doing, saying, and going for important things in life – is also a very important question for us to ask and answer honestly.  When we look at it on deeper level, we see that our answer to this question has a lot to do with how we experience life, in general.

How life is for us has a lot less to do with our circumstances or situations, and much more to do with how we relate to them and ultimately the thoughts we have.  Some of the most powerful thoughts we think and the ones that have the most impact on us are the thoughts we have about ourselves (i.e. who we think we are).

Each of us has a “story” about ourselves and our lives.  These stories are often dramatic, funny, scary, inspiring, sad, intense, boring, enjoyable, tragic, and more (usually a combination of many of these things).  In most cases, the story we have about ourselves changes a bit – depending on how we’re feeling about life and ourselves at any given time.

One of the things we sometimes forget, however, is that we’re the author of the story of our life – not simply the main character.  We often think that our story has to do with all of the things that have “happened” to us, the qualities we were born with or have cultivated, the stuff we’ve done or haven’t done yet, etc.  But, when we remember that our story is a function of our thoughts, most specifically the thoughts we have about ourselves, we can be empowered to consciously transform not just our “story,” but our life as a whole.

Here are a few things to think about and do to enhance your thoughts about yourself, and therefore enhance your experience of life:

– Notice when your feelings of “not good enough” or “unworthy” show up – In other words, pay attention to when the question, “Who do you think you are?” stops you in your tracks and takes you out of the game of your life.  As we’re able to notice this, be honest about, and have some compassion for ourselves, we can take our power back from our Gremlin in those moments and step more fully into who we really are.

– Ask yourself more deeply, “Who do you think you are?” – Go deeper with this question, beyond the judgment and really inquiry into how you relate to yourself.  What’s your story?  The more honest we can be about the story we have about ourselves, the easier it is for us to acknowledge it, own it, and ultimately change it.  Remember, these stories are not “true,” they are simply our interpretations, judgments, and beliefs.  We created them, so we have the power to transform them at any time.

– Upgrade your “story” about yourself – In the specific areas of your life where your story is not empowering, inspiring, or fulfilling – see if you’re willing and able to “upgrade” it in an authentic way.  This basically means we change our thoughts, words, and feelings about it, genuinely.  Because we often get so attached to our stories and tend to defend them passionately, this “upgrading” process can be challenging for many of us.  It sometimes takes support, feedback, and coaching from others in order for us to move beyond our story and remember that we have the power to upgrade it whenever we’re ready.

Who we think we are is one of the most foundational aspects of how we relate to life and ourselves.  As Henry Ford said in his famous quote, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”   This simple quote is so wise and profound.  And, whether we think we’re great or we’re not, we’re always “right” – it’s a function of who we truly think we are.

Who do you think you are? How can you “upgrade” the story you have about yourself in a way that will inspire and empower you? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.

Filed Under: Blog, Uncategorized Tagged With: Appreciation, authenticity, gratitude, honesty, Mike Robbins, Motivational Speaker, self-help

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