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Do you sometimes find yourself feeling rushed, hurried, stressed, or overwhelmed? Are you looking for just a little more time in your life?
If so, you’re not alone. Lots of people feel consumed by everything from their schedules to their devices, their coworkers to their clients, their families and their work. I’m sometimes guilty of packing my schedule full of so many activities, events, and deadlines that it feels hard to breathe at times.
In these stressful moments, it’s easy to feel like a victim of our “crazy” schedules. We can struggle to enjoy the events of our lives as they’re happening, much less show up to them as the best version of ourselves.
We can also start to use our busy lives as an excuse to not show up for the people in our lives who matter most. We sometimes think to ourselves…What do you want from me? Do you have any idea how much I have going on right now?
Ultimately, there’s no denying that many of these demands and responsibilities are important. That said, it can be helpful to remember that we are the ones with the power to set up our lives and schedules the way we do. If we want to stop feeling so stressed, overwhelmed, and caught up in our never-ending to-do lists, we have the power to make some changes ourselves.
Finding More Time: Truth and Lies
I’m too busy. I’m overwhelmed. I don’t have any time. Sound familiar?
Lots of us tell ourselves stories like these. In fact, we tell them so often that they start to feel like the truth. What if this isn’t actually true?
Just think about how we react when anything serious happens. When someone gets sick, or when there’s a genuine crisis, or someone really needs our help, all of those so-called “important” tasks get pushed to the back burner. In those moments, we’re able to see how unimportant most of it really is.
So, what if we stopped believing the lie about our busyness? And what if we stopped letting it run our lives? With this awareness in mind, we can take more ownership of our lives, our time, and our schedule.
How To Give Yourself More Time: 4 Tips For Success
What would life look like and feel like if we gave ourselves more space?
Below are a few things to think about and practice as you look to expand your ability to have more time in your life:
#1 Take stock of your relationship to time
Most of us have an odd or disempowered relationship to time. Just listen to some of the weird things we say: “Time flies.” “I never have enough time to do what I want to do.” “Where did the time go?” These and other statements, thoughts, and beliefs put us in the role of victim as it relates to time and our commitments.
So, how do you relate to time? How do you feel about your schedule? Do you feel victimized by your commitments at home, at work, and in general?
When we’re honest with ourselves, we have a greater ability to make necessary changes.
#2 Learn to say ‘no’
In many cases, our “disease to please” causes us to say ‘yes’ to things when we really need to say ‘no’. And yet, as my friend and bestselling author Cheryl Richardson puts it, “If it’s not an absolute ‘yes’, then it’s a ‘no.’”
An ability to say ‘no’ to requests and invitations is an important aspect of giving ourselves more time and space. It is essential to take certain tasks off our plate when we can. This isn’t about being flaky or irresponsible; it’s about being authentic with ourselves and what we’re willing and able to do.
#3 Give yourself more time than you think you need
When we overpack our days, schedules, and to-do lists, we set ourselves up to fail. I’ve come to learn that it’s not worth it to try and rush through tasks in such a short period of time. Not only does it have a negative impact on the work itself, but it also has a negative impact on our own well-being in the process.
What if we gave ourselves more time to complete projects, get places, and take care of things? Imagine what that would feel like for us and those around us, and imagine how much more creative, passionate, excited, and effective we could be in the process.
#4 Get support from others
You don’t have to go down this path alone. As you start to make changes in this regard, you may find it helpful to get some specific support, feedback, and coaching from the people around you. If there’s someone in your life who seems to be at peace with time and their schedule, it might be worth asking them how they think about it and operate.
The world around us is speeding up all the time, especially these days. Sometimes the expectations and demands that are placed on our shoulders can be unreasonable. It’s important to remember that we are the authors of the book of our life, and so we get to decide how we move through the world. If we don’t want to be victims of our schedules, we don’t have to be. When we’re willing to give ourselves more time and space, our lives can truly transform.
What can you do to give yourself more time and space in your life right now? What will this take on your part? What will the benefits be? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more in the comments below.
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Want What You Have
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Stay Positive Amidst Adversity
Most of us, even those of us who are supposed to know better, spend a lot of time and energy thinking that things will be better as soon as we achieve it.
It might mean getting promoted, moving into a nicer place, making more money, getting married, having children, getting out of debt, finding more free time, losing some weight, starting our own business, getting the kids out of the house, retiring, or recovering from a specific injury, illness, or setback. Really, it’s about whatever we think we need to change in order to feel happy and fulfilled.
I’ve come to realize that I’ve put a lot more attention into thinking about what I want rather than wanting what I already have. Can you relate? If so, you might find it useful to refocus your attention on wanting what you already have. This doesn’t mean we let go of our desires and goals, it simply means we focus a bit more on all that we have to be grateful for.
How To Find Fulfillment In What You Have
There’s no denying that both positive and negative experiences have an impact on the way we feel about ourselves and our lives. However, it’s important to keep in mind that we always have a choice in how we relate to these circumstances—and that’s even true as we’re living through them.
So, sure, it might be nice to find a great new job, or a fantastic new relationship, or a wonderful new place to live. But those circumstances can’t and won’t make us happy all on their own—at least, not unless we choose that happiness for ourselves.
In other words, in order to find an authentic sense of fulfillment, we must learn to want what we already have and truly appreciate our lives as they are. One of my favorite and oft-used quotes is from author and teacher Byron Katie, who says, “When you argue with reality, you lose, but only one hundred percent of the time.” In other words, there’s strength in accepting things in our life as they are.
Of course, wanting what we have doesn’t mean pretending that everything is “perfect” about our lives—let’s face it, that’s rarely the case for anyone. Also, it doesn’t stop us from aspiring to change or evolve our lives in a more positive way. Rather, it’s about accepting and surrendering to the current circumstances of our lives with a greater sense of gratitude. When we make peace with our life as it is, we give ourselves a greater ability to move forward.
How To Want What You Have
Here are some specific questions to ask yourself when you’re dealing with the more challenging aspects of your life (also known as the stuff you don’t want):
- Is there good in this situation that I’m not able to see at the moment?
- What can I learn from this situation?
- Why is this happening for (not to) me?
- What would it look like if I surrendered myself to my reality rather than fighting against it?
- What aspect(s) of myself can I appreciate more deeply?
By asking and answering these questions (and others like it), you’ll give yourself an opportunity to look more deeply at some of the challenges in your life. Hopefully, you’ll be able to realize that while these things may be challenging, they can also instigate growth and expansion, rather than just pain and suffering.
The vast majority of us are looking to find peace and joy within our lives, our work, and our relationships. However, it’s important to remember that we don’t find fulfillment from life itself. Rather, these feelings come from our ability to accept, appreciate, and celebrate the things that we already have.
Ultimately, when we focus more of our attention on wanting what we already have, and less of our attention on wanting what we don’t yet have, we come closer to living the life we truly want.
Do you want what you have? Where would focusing more on wanting what you have make a positive impact on your life? Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, and more in the comments below.
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Accepting what is…is one of the many important aspects of life that is much easier said than done.
For much of my life, I’ve struggled to accept certain things about myself, others, and the world around me. As someone who’s committed to change and transformation, the idea of “acceptance” has often seemed weak or passive to me in a way that’s been hard for me to reconcile.
It can be difficult, at times, to accept our reality, especially when there are things we want to change for the better. However, when we accept what is, we aren’t accepting defeat. Rather, we’re taking the first steps to making lasting and positive change.
Accepting The Power of Acceptance
There’s a famous quote by the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung: “What you resist, persists.”
It seems that many of us “resist” the way things are. Whether it’s with our body, our work, our spouse, our family members, our friends, our co-workers, our money, or the even state of the world and economy, often we find ourselves arguing with reality instead of accepting what is.
Not only do we resist acceptance, we often fear it. We worry that if we accept the things we wish to change, then we won’t be motivated to follow through on that change. Ultimately, we get scared that acceptance means things won’t change.
Acceptance is not an act of resignation or agreement—rather, it’s an act of truth-telling. When we accept things the way they are, we’re able to create a real sense of peace. From there, we can let go of much of our suffering. In fact, it’s from this place of honesty that we’re able to create the kind of circumstances, relationships, and outcomes we truly want, too.
Take Action: Practice Acceptance
Here is something specific you can do to practice acceptance in a real way.
First, make a list of some of the things in your life right now that are causing you the most stress, pain, or anxiety. These things may have to do with people, work, money, health, things happening in the world, or anything else.
After you finish your list, go through each item and ask yourself if you’re willing to “accept” these things as they are right now. This doesn’t mean that you have to like them, agree with them, or even want them to be this way, of course. It simply means that you’re willing to accept them as they are right now.
With some of the things on this list, it may be fairly easy to find acceptance, and with others it may be more difficult. For the ones that are more challenging, you can talk it through with a friend, mentor, coach, or therapist. You can also journal, pray, or meditate about the things that are hard to accept.
By accepting these things as they are, you’ll find a greater ability to be at peace with them. From there, your ability to change them in a positive way will be enhanced significantly.
What can you do to accept things as they are in your life right now? How do you accept what is? Share your thoughts, challenges, ideas, and questions below in the comments.
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In recent years many of us have an increased awareness of the relationship between humans and our planet. Whether it comes to driving electric or hybrid vehicles, recycling more, buying environmentally-friendly products, or letting our business and political leaders know how we feel, there are lots of things we can do, both big and small, to have a positive impact.
Amidst this increased awareness about the environment over the years, I’ve also thought about the impact of our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.
What Are Personal And Emotional Emissions?
When we talk about our personal and emotional emissions, we’re talking about the “vibes” we send out into the world around us.
For example, when we’re feeling down, we’re more likely to “emit” those toxic fumes back into our environment. Our negative and unexpressed emotions have the potential to “pollute” our collective consciousness, which impacts our relationships, our families, our work environment, and society at large.
At the same time, the opposite is true. Authentically positive energy has the potential to lift our hopes, raise the spirits of those around us, and make the environment around us a little bit better.
How Can I Have A Positive Impact On My Environment?
Thirty years ago, a much smaller percentage of us thought that how much we drove, what kinds of products we used, or where we put our waste made all that much difference. Now, thankfully, we know better, and we’re able to change how we operate – both personally and collectively.
The same is true when it comes to our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. When we each do our part to be aware, heal, and let go of the toxic stuff within us, we become a catalyst for positive change. Even better, we can help clean up the overall emotional and energetic environment in which we operate.
To be clear, I’m not saying that we have to be happy all the time. We all have ups and downs, which is part of life. What I am suggesting, however, is that we increase our awareness of our internal state, so that we can take responsibility for the impact it has on our lives and the people around us. Doing this can be a catalyst for positive change for us, others, and the environment in our homes, workplaces, and communities.
How do you try to bring a positive impact to your personal environment? Do you have any examples of times when your thoughts and feelings had an impact on the people around you, for good and for bad? If so, let us know in the comments below.
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Finding it difficult to stay positive these days?
You’re not alone. For many people, myself included, the stress of life today and all we’ve been through in recent years, makes it all too easy to fall back into a “doom and gloom” outlook on the world around us. Unfortunately, that negativity doesn’t only harm ourselves—but it has an impact on our our families, our relationships, our teams, our companies, and our communities, too.
Given all that is going and that we have to contend with on a daily basis these days, how can we stay positive in a genuine way? While there’s no quick fix or magic formula, there are three things I believe we can do to help us stay positive in our most difficult moments.
#1 – Be Honest
Whenever we’re facing challenges, obstacles, or difficult circumstances, it’s important for us to be honest about how we truly feel. The most common feelings that we experience at these times are anger, fear, and shame. We feel angry that something bad has happened, and we feel afraid that the circumstances may remain challenging or even get worse. We can also feel ashamed that we’ve ended up in the situation in the first place.
Needless to say, these emotions are ones we often don’t like to admit, feel, or express. However, like all emotions, when we acknowledge them, own them, and express them they have a way of dissipating. In the process, we can free ourselves from their negative impact, so we can retain a more positive outlook on the world around us.
#2 – Be Conscious
In order to stay positive, it’s important for us to be conscious of what we’re thinking, feeling, and saying in the given moment. Without judgment, see if you can be aware of everything that is going on within you and how you’re reacting to what’s happening.
In the midst of stress and adversity, we have a tendency to think, say, and do things that don’t actually make the situation better. In some cases, those actions make things a whole lot worse. Think about it: we complain, we worry, we speak negatively about life, others, and ourselves. Maybe we binge watch shows, scroll for hours on our phone, overeat, drink too much, or we do various other things that don’t serve us.
Ultimately, the more conscious we can be about our feelings, thoughts, words, and actions, the more likely we’ll be able to stay positive. More importantly, when we’re mindful, we’re better able to learn and grow from whatever adversity we may be facing.
#3 – Be Grateful
It may seem counter-intuitive to be grateful in the face of challenges However, these moments are usually the most important times to focus on what we appreciate about ourselves, others, and life in general.
When things don’t go the way we want them to, we can stay positive by taking inventory of the good stuff in our lives. Adversity can remind us that while things may be tough, we have so many blessings. Think about your health, your job, your home, and all the people who love you.
We may even find that there are things we can appreciate about adversity. For example, we may realize we’re stronger than we thought we were or we have more support around us than we fully appreciated. Difficulties can also teach us some important lessons about ourselves and life.
Take some time right now to think about some of the things that fill you with gratitude. It’s common to not pay much attention to these things as we rush through our lives, so don’t be afraid to use difficult moments as an opportunity to reflect, even if it may be hard to do so. There is always a lot for us to be grateful for, as long as we choose to pay attention to it.
Stay Positive: Remember, This Too Shall Pass
It’s important to take the time to recognize the impact that our difficulties have on us. We don’t want to minimize or trivialize challenges. At the same time, though, we don’t want to let these difficulties hold us back from living our lives.
It’s possible for us to remain open, optimistic, and positive in the face of any and all difficulty and uncertainty. This doesn’t mean we have to be superhuman, or that we aren’t allowed to feel anything less than happy. It does mean, however, that we choose to be honest, conscious, and grateful in the midst of what’s going on. And, if we choose to do so, we can have this be a time of reflection, rejuvenation, and transformation for us and those around us.
Be kind to yourself as you make your way through this process and see if you can be present in as many moments as possible. And, when in doubt, remember that this too shall pass.
How do you stay positive? Share your thoughts, tips, and examples in the comments below!
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