Mike Robbins

Infusing Life and Business with Authenticity and Appreciation

Archives for April 2021

The Importance of Flexibility

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Flexibility can help improve every aspect of your life – your work, relationships, health, family, creativity, success, and more.

How flexible are you? For me, it often depends on my mood, how much fear or resistance I have about something, how attached I am to a particular outcome, and various other factors.

The Importance of Flexibility to Reach Fulfillment

Flexibility directly impacts fulfillment in all areas of your life.

As I look throughout my own life (now and in the past), I realize that the situations, relationships, and experiences that cause me the most significant stress and frustration are almost always the ones where I’m not flexible. On the flip side, the more flexible I am, the more peace, ease, and fulfillment become available.

The massive changes brought to our lives due to COVID-19 have also put us to the test. These changes have challenged us to be flexible in every aspect of our lives. As a leadership consultant and executive coach, I see that now, more than ever, we are facing challenges that force us to be flexible – in our work, our relationships, and in every other important aspect of our lives.

However, due to our fear, resistance, stress, and obsession with being right, we often end up being inflexible to our own detriment and frustration of those around us (or so I’ve been told).

On my podcast, we discuss this a lot. I talk about how being flexible is not about being weak or passive. Flexibility is a conscious choice, a powerful skill, and a practical approach to the ever-changing, always-evolving world we live in.

We must be a positive force for change. We can be firm in our convictions, passionate about our beliefs, and clear about our intentions, and at the same time be flexible enough to make significant changes and be open to new ideas along the way.

Key Elements to Understanding the Importance of Flexibility

Here are some critical elements to understanding the importance of flexibility and expanding your capacity for flexibility in your life, which will lead you to greater peace, joy, and fulfillment.

Let Go of Your Attachment

Whenever we develop an attachment to something – a specific outcome, a particular way of doing things, a rigid opinion, etc. – we are, by definition, inflexible.

Letting go of our attachment to something doesn’t mean we negate our desire or intention. It simply means we let go of controlling every aspect of it, forcing the action, and our fixation on it is precisely the way we think it should be, which is a process of conscious “non-attachment” (letting go), as opposed to detachment (not caring).

Be Willing to Be Wrong

To reach fulfillment, we must be willing to be wrong.

Most of us love to be correct and will do and say just about anything to avoid being wrong. Our obsession with “rightness” and fear of “wrongness” often gets in the way of going for what we want, saying what’s on our mind, and letting go of our fixed ideas about how things should be.

When we’re willing to be wrong (not necessarily interested in or intending to be wrong), we free ourselves up and permit ourselves to take risks, try new things, and approach things (even essential things) with a creative, innovative, and flexible perspective.

Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

Taking ourselves too seriously (something I know a thing or two about) creates unnecessary stress, pressure, and worry.

When we’re able to laugh at ourselves (in a kind way), keep things in perspective, and remember that most of what we deal with daily in life is not life or death – we can take ourselves less seriously and thus have a more balanced, peaceful, and creative way of relating to things.

When we stress out all the time, it puts us in a negative headspace. Being able to keep things in a positive light can bring a lot of peace into your life. You can learn more about how to do that here.

Go With the Flow

If we pay attention to life, there is a natural flow that exists (although it may not always look like it or feel like it). The more we’re able to tap into the natural flow of life, trust ourselves and others, and believe that things will work out – the more likely we are to allow things to roll off our backs and manifest with ease. As Esther Hicks says, “Most people are rowing against the current of life. Instead of turning the boat around, all they need to do is let go of the oars.”

Get Support and Feedback From Others

The support and feedback of others are invaluable in so many aspects of our life and growth, especially related to us being more flexible. We can learn from and model others who are more flexible than we are. We can also give people in our life permission to remind us (with kindness) when we get rigid, uptight, over-attached, and start taking ourselves too seriously.

Being flexible is something that’s often easier said than done for many of us. However, just as with our physical bodies, the more attention we place on expanding our flexibility, we are more likely to do it. As we enhance our ability to be flexible, our life can and will expand exponentially.

How can you practice being more flexible in your life right now? Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, actions, and more on my blog below.

I have written five books about the importance of flexibility, authenticity, appreciation, and more. I deliver keynotes and seminars (both in-person and virtually) to empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. As an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more authentic and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today.

Feel free to leave any comments here. You can also listen to my podcast here.

Liked this post? Here are three more!

The Important Difference Between Positive and Negative Competition
The Power of Gratitude
Love is the Secret Sauce of High Performing Teams

This article was originally published on January 20, 2011, and has been updated for 2021.

The Important Difference Between Positive and Negative Competition

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As a former professional athlete and someone who has worked in and with sales organizations for the past 25 years, I know a few things about positive competition and negative competition.

As a leadership consultant and executive coach, I’ve seen competition play out in both healthy and unhealthy ways within teams and companies for many years.

Some studies state that competition can motivate employees, resulting in better results. It can also increase effort, which leads to higher performance.

On the other hand, negative competition can elicit a sense of fear in employees, who can feel threatened or pressured in unhealthy ways. Fear can cause severe anxiety in the workplace.

Competition is part of life, and especially of business. You can constructively harness competition in a productive way for teams, but it can also be incredibly damaging and detrimental to a team or company’s culture.

So, it’s essential to understand that there are two types of competition: negative and positive competition.

What Are the Differences Between Positive Competition and Negative Competition?

Negative Competition

Negative competition occurs when we compete with others so that we want to win at the expense of the other person or people involved.

In other words, our success is predicated on their failure. Negative competition is a zero-sum game and is based on the adolescent notion that if we win, we’re “good,” and if we lose, we’re “bad.”

The main difference between negative and positive competition is the types of emotions people feel surrounding the competition. These emotions can make certain kinds of people behave very differently.

Negative competition is all about being better than or feeling inferior to others — based on outcomes or accomplishments. In a team setting, negative internal competition shuts down trust and psychological safety and is detrimental to the culture. It usually takes one of three forms:

  • One person competing against another person on the team
  • One person competing against the entire team
  • One team competing against another team within the organization

What is Positive Competition?

Positive competition occurs when we compete healthily — in a way that brings out the best in us and everyone involved. It’s a way to challenge yourself and others while pushing those around you. It allows you to tap into your potential and succeed.

When we compete in this positive way, we aren’t rooting for others to fail or become obsessed with winning at all costs. We realize that we aren’t “good” or “bad” and that the result doesn’t determine our value as human beings.

Of course, we may “win,” or we may “lose” the competition we’re engaged in, and there are times when the outcome has a significant impact and is important. Positive competition is about growth, grit, and taking ourselves and our team to the next level.

When we compete positively, it benefits us and anyone else involved. Here are some of the many benefits of positive competition:

  • Sparks creativity
  • Motivates others
  • Increases effort
  • Increases productivity
  • It helps people assess their strengths and weaknesses
  • Increases the quality of work
  • Keeps you alert

positive competition

An Example of Positive Competition

A straightforward example of positive competition comes from exercise.

Think about how you feel when you work out with others. Not only does it motivate you, but it also keeps you accountable.

Working out with another person is a positive, practical strategy for getting in shape because having a workout partner creates accountability, support, and motivation.

Let’s say you and I decided to work out together regularly, and we picked a few different activities such as running, biking, and tennis that we’d do a few times a week. And let’s imagine we decided to add a little competition to make it more interesting. If we negatively competed against each other, I would obsess with figuring out how to run faster, bike farther, and beat you at tennis.

And if I got really into it, I might find myself feeling stressed before we worked out, and after we got done, I’d be either happy or upset depending on how I did in comparison to you on a particular day. I might even find myself taunting you if I “won” or feeling defensive, jealous, or angry if I “lost.”

However, if we went about these same activities in a positively competitive way, we could still compete to win in tennis or race each other in running or biking.

We wouldn’t waste our time and energy attaching too much meaning to the outcome but instead realized that we would both get a better workout by pushing one another past our perceived limitations. We would both get a better workout, helping each of us be as healthy and fit as possible.

It is really important for us to let go of negative comparisons to reach our full potential.

Pay Attention to Competition

In a team setting, it’s essential to pay attention to competition. One great way to create a positive work environment is through positive, healthy competition (learn more about creating a positive work environment here).

We all have the capacity for both positive and negative competition. When we are aware of our own and others’ competitive tendencies, it is easier to talk about and pay attention to them when they manifest themselves.

Think about championship teams and how they embrace competition. They harness its positive power to fuel individual and collective growth and success.

Creating a culture of positive competition can bring out the best in us and everyone on the team.

And at the end of the day, remember that life is not a competition.

Step into a more authentic version of positive competition that can empower you and those around you to reach new heights in all areas of life and business.

Are you competing positively or negatively? What can you do to create an environment of positive competition around you?

I have written five books about the importance of trust, authenticity, appreciation, and more. I deliver keynotes and seminars (both in-person and virtually) to empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. As an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more authentic and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today.

Feel free to leave any comments here or directly on my blog. You can also listen to my podcast here.

Liked this post? Here are three more!

The Important Benefits of Being Grateful at Work
Distract Yourself in Healthy Ways
Why Empathy is Important: How to Become More Empathetic

This article was originally published on August 14, 2018 as an excerpt from my book, Bring Your Whole Self to Work (published by Hay House). This article has been updated for 2021.