Mike Robbins

Infusing Life and Business with Authenticity and Appreciation

Appreciation

Appreciation: The Most Meaningful Gift

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The holiday season can be more than a little stressful. At this time of year, it’s easy to get caught up in the chaos of buying gifts, preparing travel plans, and getting ready for all sorts of parties and events. If money’s tight, there’s the added strain of choosing the right presents for all our friends, family members, and coworkers, while being extra mindful of costs.

As great as thoughtful and even expensive gifts can be – most people just want to know that they’re valued. So, this year, consider showing them how much you care by giving the most meaningful gift of all: your appreciation.

Tips for Showing Appreciation

Appreciation is all about showing the people in your life why they’re important to you. To start, consider asking yourself the following questions:

– What do you value most about your best friend?

– What is it about your kids that you really admire?

– What do you love best about your spouse?

– How does your co-worker or your boss make your job easier and more fun?

Your answers are key to understanding what it is you really appreciate.

Expressing our heartfelt gratitude for the important people in our lives can be a bit vulnerable and uncomfortable at times. And yet, it’s essential for creating the types of authentic and meaningful relationships we desire.

Appreciation helps us deal more effectively with the stress and strain of our day-to-day lives. It’s at the heart of healthy families, successful teams, productive communities, and more.

If you’re looking to show your appreciation this holiday season, consider these three simple tips:

1) Write a Heartfelt Thank You Card

This holiday season, consider taking the time to write gratitude cards and give them to the people who matter most to you – both at work and at home. Let the people around you know how they’ve impacted you in a positive way. Try to express your appreciation genuinely, specifically, and personally. You can give the card as a gift in and of itself, or attach it to a more traditional present if you want.

2) Give People What They Really Want

Giving people what they truly want is another simple way to demonstrate how much you value them. Show the people around you that you’re really listening to their wants and needs by giving something specific that they’ve asked for or you know they definitely want. It doesn’t have to be expensive—it just needs to be personal to them. If you don’t know where to start, don’t be afraid to simply ask them directly.

3) Give the Gift of Time and Service

Show up for the people who matter most in your life—literally. Instead of buying them a gift, consider giving them a call to ask if you can help them with anything. It might be a project they’ve been putting off, or an errand they’ve been procrastinating on. Either way, show them how much you care by scheduling time to get it done on their behalf or just to connect with them.

Give Meaningful Gifts Filled with Appreciation

This year, consider giving a gift that doubles as an expression of your true appreciation. Not only will it make the holiday season more memorable, but it’ll also have a real impact on the people who matter most to you.

Appreciation is the best gift we can give at any time of year, and especially this holiday season.

What do you appreciate most about the people around you? Aside from buying presents, how can you show your appreciation for the most important people in your life? Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, actions, and more in the comments below.

Here are a few more posts you might enjoy:

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5 Ways to Have a Great Thanksgiving

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Many of us have a love/hate relationship with the holidays—myself included. While Thanksgiving is meant to be a meaningful celebration of gratitude, appreciation, and family connection, those sentiments often get lost in a sea of stress, grief, obligation, disappointment, and/or messy family drama.

If you’re like me and many people I know, it can be easy to get stressed out, upset, and frustrated at this time of year, especially these days. But what if we could make Thanksgiving more fun? What if we focused on being who we are, appreciating our loved ones, being real about how we feel, and expressing our gratitude in a genuine way?

Here are five things we can do to have a positive Thanksgiving experience this year:

1. Be Yourself

It’s often easier said than done to be ourselves, especially around those we gather with at the holidays. And yet, this Thanksgiving, let’s try to set aside all the thoughts about who we should be and how we should act around our family, friends, in-laws, and guests. Instead, let’s try to focus on just being who we truly are.

All too often, we lose ourselves in our desire to impress or not offend people. However, when we let go of our people-pleasing tendencies, we release all sorts of undue pressure. In its place, we find a real sense of freedom and peace.

2. Look for the Good

This Thanksgiving, let’s work to let go of our grudges, judgements, and resentments. Set aside the obsessive thoughts centering on the most annoying and upsetting qualities in our friends and family. Make a commitment to focus on what you like about the people around you, rather than what you don’t.

By making a conscious decision to enjoy ourselves as well as the people around us, we dramatically increase our chances of having a positive and pleasant experience.

3. Keep it Fun

The holidays are actually supposed to be enjoyable. So, this year, so whatever you can to make the Thanksgiving experience as fun and stress-free as possible.

Keep it light. Don’t take things personally.  Share the responsibilities. Ask others for help. Prepare in advance to reduce the stress. And, most of all, open yourself up to going with the flow and enjoying the day.

4. Express Appreciation

This Thanksgiving, let the people in your life know how much they matter to you. Take the time to share your appreciation with them in a genuine way. Here are some tips to make it happen:

  • Write thank-you cards and bring them to your gathering.
  • Acknowledge someone special at the dinner table. Then, invite them to “pay it forward” by sharing their appreciation for someone else in the group. Keep it going until everyone’s had their turn in the spotlight.
  • Call up a friend. Talk to a family member. Send a text or write an email. Whatever it takes to let people know what you appreciate about them.

Remember, appreciating someone doesn’t mean we agree with them about everything or we don’t have any issues with them, it means we choose to focus on their value and what we’re grateful for by having them in our lives.

5. Count Your Blessings

Amidst all of the holiday chaos, stress, and everything happening in the country and the world, it can be easy to lose sight of the intention of why we’re gathering in the first place. This holiday isn’t about the meal or the details—it’s about gratitude, connection, and reflection.

So, this Thanksgiving, take some time to think about all the blessings in your life. Focus on the things you appreciate about yourself as well as those around you. If you’re stretched for time, consider bringing this idea to the dinner table. During the meal, ask everyone to share what they’re grateful for in a genuine, specific, and personal way.

Being grateful doesn’t mean everything’s great, that there aren’t any challenges, that our families don’t have issues, or that there aren’t real problems in our country and our world.  Gratitude is a powerful energy and emotion, and when we step into it authentically, it allows us to remember that no matter what may be going on with us, those around us, and in the larger world, there is always so much to appreciate…if we choose to do so.

What are your Thanksgiving plans this year? Are you willing to do what it takes to make it a fun, meaningful, and positive experience? How do you plan to make it happen? Share your thoughts, ideas, and insights on my blog below.

Here are some more blog posts that might interest you:

Let’s Have Thanksgiving All The Time
3 Ways to Stay Positive
Want What You Have

 

Give Yourself More Time and Space

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Do you sometimes find yourself feeling rushed, hurried, stressed, or overwhelmed? Are you looking for just a little more time in your life?

If so, you’re not alone. Lots of people feel consumed by everything from their schedules to their devices, their coworkers to their clients, their families and their work. I’m sometimes guilty of packing my schedule full of so many activities, events, and deadlines that it feels hard to breathe at times.

In these stressful moments, it’s easy to feel like a victim of our “crazy” schedules. We can struggle to enjoy the events of our lives as they’re happening, much less show up to them as the best version of ourselves.

We can also start to use our busy lives as an excuse to not show up for the people in our lives who matter most. We sometimes think to ourselves…What do you want from me? Do you have any idea how much I have going on right now?

Ultimately, there’s no denying that many of these demands and responsibilities are important. That said, it can be helpful to remember that we are the ones with the power to set up our lives and schedules the way we do. If we want to stop feeling so stressed, overwhelmed, and caught up in our never-ending to-do lists, we have the power to make some changes ourselves.

Finding More Time: Truth and Lies

I’m too busy. I’m overwhelmed. I don’t have any time. Sound familiar?

Lots of us tell ourselves stories like these. In fact, we tell them so often that they start to feel like the truth. What if this isn’t actually true?

Just think about how we react when anything serious happens. When someone gets sick, or when there’s a genuine crisis, or someone really needs our help, all of those so-called “important” tasks get pushed to the back burner. In those moments, we’re able to see how unimportant most of it really is.

So, what if we stopped believing the lie about our busyness? And what if we stopped letting it run our lives? With this awareness in mind, we can take more ownership of our lives, our time, and our schedule.

How To Give Yourself More Time: 4 Tips For Success

What would life look like and feel like if we gave ourselves more space?

Below are a few things to think about and practice as you look to expand your ability to have more time in your life:

#1 Take stock of your relationship to time

Most of us have an odd or disempowered relationship to time.  Just listen to some of the weird things we say: “Time flies.”  “I never have enough time to do what I want to do.”  “Where did the time go?”  These and other statements, thoughts, and beliefs put us in the role of victim as it relates to time and our commitments.

So, how do you relate to time?  How do you feel about your schedule?  Do you feel victimized by your commitments at home, at work, and in general?

When we’re honest with ourselves, we have a greater ability to make necessary changes.

#2 Learn to say ‘no’

In many cases, our “disease to please” causes us to say ‘yes’ to things when we really need to say ‘no’. And yet, as my friend and bestselling author Cheryl Richardson puts it, “If it’s not an absolute ‘yes’, then it’s a ‘no.’”

An ability to say ‘no’ to requests and invitations is an important aspect of giving ourselves more time and space. It is essential to take certain tasks off our plate when we can. This isn’t about being flaky or irresponsible; it’s about being authentic with ourselves and what we’re willing and able to do.

#3 Give yourself more time than you think you need

When we overpack our days, schedules, and to-do lists, we set ourselves up to fail. I’ve come to learn that it’s not worth it to try and rush through tasks in such a short period of time. Not only does it have a negative impact on the work itself, but it also has a negative impact on our own well-being in the process.

What if we gave ourselves more time to complete projects, get places, and take care of things?  Imagine what that would feel like for us and those around us, and imagine how much more creative, passionate, excited, and effective we could be in the process.

#4 Get support from others

You don’t have to go down this path alone. As you start to make changes in this regard, you may find it helpful to get some specific support, feedback, and coaching from the people around you. If there’s someone in your life who seems to be at peace with time and their schedule, it might be worth asking them how they think about it and operate.

The world around us is speeding up all the time, especially these days. Sometimes the expectations and demands that are placed on our shoulders can be unreasonable. It’s important to remember that we are the authors of the book of our life, and so we get to decide how we move through the world. If we don’t want to be victims of our schedules, we don’t have to be. When we’re willing to give ourselves more time and space, our lives can truly transform.

What can you do to give yourself more time and space in your life right now? What will this take on your part? What will the benefits be? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more in the comments below.

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Want What You Have

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Most of us, even those of us who are supposed to know better, spend a lot of time and energy thinking that things will be better as soon as we achieve it. 

It might mean getting promoted, moving into a nicer place, making more money, getting married, having children, getting out of debt, finding more free time, losing some weight, starting our own business, getting the kids out of the house, retiring, or recovering from a specific injury, illness, or setback. Really, it’s about whatever we think we need to change in order to feel happy and fulfilled.

I’ve come to realize that I’ve put a lot more attention into thinking about what I want rather than wanting what I already have. Can you relate? If so, you might find it useful to refocus your attention on wanting what you already have. This doesn’t mean we let go of our desires and goals, it simply means we focus a bit more on all that we have to be grateful for.

How To Find Fulfillment In What You Have

There’s no denying that both positive and negative experiences have an impact on the way we feel about ourselves and our lives. However, it’s important to keep in mind that we always have a choice in how we relate to these circumstances—and that’s even true as we’re living through them.

So, sure, it might be nice to find a great new job, or a fantastic new relationship, or a wonderful new place to live. But those circumstances can’t and won’t make us happy all on their own—at least, not unless we choose that happiness for ourselves.

In other words, in order to find an authentic sense of fulfillment, we must learn to want what we already have and truly appreciate our lives as they are. One of my favorite and oft-used quotes is from author and teacher Byron Katie, who says, “When you argue with reality, you lose, but only one hundred percent of the time.” In other words, there’s strength in accepting things in our life as they are.

Of course, wanting what we have doesn’t mean pretending that everything is “perfect” about our lives—let’s face it, that’s rarely the case for anyone. Also, it doesn’t stop us from aspiring to change or evolve our lives in a more positive way. Rather, it’s about accepting and surrendering to the current circumstances of our lives with a greater sense of gratitude. When we make peace with our life as it is, we give ourselves a greater ability to move forward.

How To Want What You Have

Here are some specific questions to ask yourself when you’re dealing with the more challenging aspects of your life (also known as the stuff you don’t want):

  • Is there good in this situation that I’m not able to see at the moment?
  • What can I learn from this situation?
  • Why is this happening for (not to) me?
  • What would it look like if I surrendered myself to my reality rather than fighting against it?
  • What aspect(s) of myself can I appreciate more deeply?

By asking and answering these questions (and others like it), you’ll give yourself an opportunity to look more deeply at some of the challenges in your life. Hopefully, you’ll be able to realize that while these things may be challenging, they can also instigate growth and expansion, rather than just pain and suffering.

The vast majority of us are looking to find peace and joy within our lives, our work, and our relationships. However, it’s important to remember that we don’t find fulfillment from life itself. Rather, these feelings come from our ability to accept, appreciate, and celebrate the things that we already have.

Ultimately, when we focus more of our attention on wanting what we already have, and less of our attention on wanting what we don’t yet have, we come closer to living the life we truly want.

Do you want what you have? Where would focusing more on wanting what you have make a positive impact on your life?  Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, and more in the comments below.

Related posts:

  1. Accepting What Is
  2. Appreciate the Simple Things
  3. Love Your Body, Love Your Life

Appreciating People: Focus on Who They Are

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Would you like to be more effective at appreciating people around you?

Think about someone who’s shown you an act of kindness. What did they do or say that made you feel appreciated?

It can be as simple as a smile or a thank you, or, more significantly, lending a hand on a project or offering a shoulder to cry on.

No matter how big or small the act of appreciation is, we usually don’t forget the gesture and the impact.

I’ve been researching, writing, and speaking about appreciation for almost twenty-five years.  One of the most important things I have learned is the distinction between recognition and appreciation.

The Power of Appreciation: Recognition vs. Appreciation

Recognition refers to the way we reward the actions of those around us. It’s important, since most of us like to be recognized, especially at work. We often get upset when we don’t get recognized, especially when we think we deserve it.

As important as recognition is, it’s also limited for a few reasons. First, recognition is always based on past actions, so it’s pretty limited in terms of anticipating the future. Plus, people can react to recognition in different ways, meaning that it can motivate them in different ways, too.

Perhaps the biggest issue with recognition is the fact that it focuses more on outcomes than people.

On the other hand, appreciation is about recognizing the inherent value of people.  It’s about who people are, and less about what they have done or are doing. For example, a performance award is a type of recognition that’s based on a result which has to be earned.  While there is nothing wrong with this, it’s inherently conditional.

Appreciation is not based on an outcome—you can tell someone that you’re grateful for them, let them know why you care about them, or acknowledge the value they bring, regardless of their performance.

If we want to ensure that the people around us feel cared about, we must acknowledge who they are as human beings rather than focusing solely on their accomplishments. In fact, sometimes, the most important time to appreciate someone is after they’ve failed or made a mistake. While we can’t always recognize the outcome, we can almost always acknowledge the effort and courage that it often takes to act.

Becoming a master at the art of appreciating others is about simultaneously recognizing the great things that people do, as well as proactively acknowledging them for who they are, the valuable qualities they have, and how they positively impact us and others by being who they are.

Appreciation in Action

Think of three people in your life who you interact with on a regular basis. What do you appreciate about each of them? Remember that it’s not about what they’ve done or accomplished, but who they are as people. It could be their attitude, commitment, friendship, humor, honesty, passion, wisdom, humility, kindness, joy, curiosity or many other qualities. As you think about each of these people, reflect on the ways they have positively impacted you and those around you.

Once you’ve had a chance to think about what you appreciate about these important people – reach out to them by phone or text to let them know.  While it might feel a bit vulnerable for you and/or for them, if you share your appreciation with them genuinely, not only will it most likely touch and inspire them, it may also have a positive impact on you, your relationship with them, and any group or team you might be a part of with them.  Have fun with it and be as generous, authentic, and courageous as possible.

Do you have thoughts on appreciation?  Share them in the comments below. And if you enjoyed this blog post, here are three more to check out:

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