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Keep Your Head in the Clouds and Your Feet on the Ground

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Do you struggle with finding life balance? Do you struggle to ground yourself and stay focused?

The saying “keep your head in the clouds, and your feet on the ground” is something my dad used to say. While I’ve heard this saying many times (and have always thought it was pretty corny and cheesy), I’ve started to think about it more deeply and realized the true wisdom of this idea.

As I’ve been thinking about it more, I notice that while I often have my “head in the clouds” (thinking about big aspirations, dreams, ideas, and more) and my “feet on the ground” (staying grounded in “reality,” taking practical action, and keeping things “real”), I rarely do these things simultaneously.

Tips on How to Create Healthy Life Balance

Here are a few things you can do and think about to balance the yin and yang energies of dreaming and doing in your life.

1. Notice where you are on this spectrum. 

Take some time to reflect on where you fall on the “head in the clouds, feet on the ground” continuum.  

While many of us move back and forth on this spectrum, most of us have a natural place where we settle – i.e., we’re more of a “dreamer” or a “doer.” Once we recognize where we are on the spectrum, we can choose to move and create more of a balanced approach. It’s important to remember how strong we are – in this specific regard and in general.

By acknowledging and understanding where you are on the spectrum, you can set goals and create new habits to help you live a more balanced life.

2. Allow yourself to focus on your dreams.  

What are some of your biggest dreams? What do you truly want in your life?  

Having passionate desire without attachment is one of the most essential elements of making our dreams come true.  

However, because most of us have been hurt, disappointed, or let down by goals that haven’t been attained, we tend to hold back when thinking about, visualizing, and talking about our deepest desires and most important dreams, especially these days. 

Having our “head in the clouds” is about giving ourselves permission to dream and dream big. Don’t let past mistakes or failures bring you down. Remember that the mistakes you’ve made in the past are lessons. Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.  And when you allow yourself to focus on your dreams, you can better visualize them and work towards achieving your goals.

3) Take intentional and effective action.  

One of the biggest challenges we encounter in our journey towards our dreams is either not taking effective action (because we don’t know what to do or we’re too scared to do it) or taking too much ineffective action (because we’re running around doing stuff just for the sake of doing stuff, often in an unconscious way).  

When we allow ourselves to dream big (with our “head in the clouds”), how we keep our “feet on the ground” is by coming up with intentional and appropriate actions to move forward with our goals, even if we’re scared and not sure how things will turn out. We often need guidance, advice, and support in this process – because it can be confusing, intimidating, or both.

When you’re open to guidance and advice as you work on taking effective action, you open yourself up to new possibilities and push yourself forward in turning your dreams into reality.

4) Get good support and feedback.  

To stay grounded, you must have a strong support system.

Support and feedback are essential aspects of life, success, and growth. When accomplishing our dreams, we must have empowering support around us. Some of us need people who can challenge us, think big, and help us reach for our goals.  

Others need people to help ground us, keep us in reality, and help us focus our energy, passion, and ideas in a practical way.  

Most importantly, we all need people who can cheer for us, hold us accountable, and support us on our journey in an authentic and meaningful way. We can’t do it alone – at least not nearly as easily or effectively.

5) Have fun!  

Accomplishing our goals doesn’t have to be strenuous, stressful, or frustrating. It does take a lot of hard work and grit, but it’s also an important growth process that can help us learn more about ourselves and gain confidence in what we do.

It’s essential for us to enjoy the journey and not take ourselves or life too seriously. Sometimes, as you may have noticed, we get tense, uptight, and stressed out about our dreams – almost as if we’re holding our breath and waiting to exhale once things turn out.  

When we stress ourselves out about our goals, it creates a challenging dynamic in our lives. It’s not the most conducive environment (internally and externally) for us to create success and fulfillment. Having fun along the way ensures we keep things in perspective and enjoy the ride, regardless of the outcome.

Keeping our heads in the clouds and our feet on the ground is much easier said than done. However, when we can do both things with passion, intention, and focus, we create a sense of life balance and peace that can allow us to have what we truly want in life. 

How can you balance having your “head in the clouds” and your “feet on the ground” in your own life? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more in the comments section below.

Mike Robbins is the author of five books, including his latest, We’re All in This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging. He’s a thought leader and sought-after speaker whose clients include Google, Wells Fargo, Microsoft, Schwab, eBay, Genentech, the Oakland A’s, and many others.

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This article was originally published on April 29, 2010, and updated for 2022.

 

The Trap of Comparison with Others

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How often do you compare yourself to others? If you’re anything like me and most of the people I know and work with, you probably compare yourself to others more than you’d like to admit. 

And, as you may have noticed (like I have), this comparison process never seems to feel good or work well.

I got an email a while back from a woman who suggested that I check out the website of another author/speaker. She said he reminded her of me and thought we should know each other. 

I looked at his website and was very impressed. However, my Gremlin (that negative, critical voice in my head) started telling me how much better this guy was than me. “Look at him – he’s a stud: funny, good-looking, and super tech-savvy. His site is way cooler than yours, his approach is more hip, and he has this whole thing figured out much better than you do.”

After looking at his website and listening to my Gremlin, I felt jealous, inferior, and self-conscious.  

Can you relate to this?

Sadly, many of us waste lots of time and energy comparing ourselves to others. Often we feel inferior to people based on our own self-judgment and/or our perception that they are better than we are.

The trap of comparison is that we’re stuck in a negative loop if we feel less than someone else or even better than another person. It’s actually the opposite side of the same coin in either case.

All of this is an insatiable ego game that ultimately sets us up to lose. Comparison to others leads to jealousy, anxiety, judgment, criticism, separation, loneliness, etc.

It’s normal for us to compare ourselves to others – especially given how most of our parents raised us, the competitive culture in which we live, and the way we engage with the world today through social media. 

However, this comparison game can have severe consequences on our self-esteem, relationships, work, and overall life experience.

The irony is that almost everyone feels this way. We often erroneously think that if we just made more money, lost some weight, got a better job, moved into a nicer place, had more outward “success,” found the “perfect” partner, or whatever – then these insecure and unhealthy feelings of inferior/superior comparison would go away. Not true.

We can transform our comparison process into an experience of growth, connection, self-acceptance, and self-love – and ultimately let it go – by dealing with it directly and going to the source – us and how we relate to ourselves.

How to Stop Focusing on Comparison With Others

Here are some things you can do to unhook yourself from comparison with others.

1. Have empathy and compassion for yourself.  

When we notice we’re comparing ourselves to other people and feeling either inferior or superior, it’s essential to have a deep sense of compassion and empathy for ourselves. 

Comparison almost always comes from a place of insecurity and fear, not of deficiency or mal-intent. Judging ourselves as less than someone else or judging ourselves for going into comparison mode in the first place (which many of us do once we become aware of our tendency to do this) doesn’t help. This judgment causes more harm and keeps us stuck in the negative pattern.

2. Use comparison as an opportunity to accept, appreciate, and love yourself. 

When comparison shows up, there is usually a lack of acceptance, appreciation, and love for ourselves. 

Instead of feeling bad about what we think is wrong with us or critical of ourselves for being judgmental in the first place, what if we took this as a cue to take care of and nurture ourselves in an authentic way.

3. Be willing to admit your jealousy. 

One of the best ways to release something is to admit and own it. While this can be a little scary and vulnerable to do, when we have the courage to admit our jealousy, we can own it in a liberating way to both other people and us. Acknowledging that we feel jealous of another person’s success, talent, accomplishment, or quality is a great way to let go of it and remove the barrier we may feel with that person or experience.

If you find yourself jealous of someone you don’t know (like a celebrity or just someone you haven’t met personally), you can acknowledge these feelings to someone close to you or even in a meditation with an image of that actual person.

4. Acknowledge the people you compare yourself to.  

Another great way to break through the negative impact of comparison to others is to reach out to them with some genuine appreciation. 

After a few minutes of feeling bad about myself, I reached out to the guy whose website I looked at, acknowledged him for his excellent work, and asked if we could connect. It felt good and liberating to do that. 

The more excited we’re willing to get for other people’s success, talents, and experiences – the more likely we are to manifest positive feelings and outcomes in our lives. There is not a finite amount of success or fulfillment – and when we acknowledge people we compare ourselves to, we remind ourselves that there is more than enough to go around and that we’re capable of experiencing and manifesting wonderful things in our own lives too.

 

How often do you compare yourself to others? How does this impact your life, relationships, and sense of yourself? What can you do to let go of this habit and be more loving, accepting, and appreciative of yourself? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more in the comments below.

 

Mike Robbins is the author of five books, including his latest, We’re All in This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging. He’s a thought leader and sought-after speaker whose clients include Google, Wells Fargo, Microsoft, Schwab, eBay, Genentech, the Oakland A’s, and many others.

 

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The Power of Forgiveness

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The power of forgiveness is so important for our relationships, teams, and overall well-being. But it can be difficult, especially these days.  

Resentment doesn’t serve us. 

As the saying goes, “holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” We are the ones taking the poison in and somehow think it will impact the other person, but it usually doesn’t.

What can we do to release resentment and forgive the people around us?

We all hold onto those little subtle things that we don’t know how to address – things that create resentment in our lives and build up over time. These small things damage our relationships and trust. They impact our teams and culture. 

We have to learn how to address these things, but first, we must understand why many of us find it so hard to forgive.

What Makes Forgiveness So Challenging?

Forgiveness is challenging for many reasons. Here are a few of them.

1. We aren’t taught forgiveness.

Most of us do not learn much about forgiveness as we grow up. We learn how to navigate relationships and conflicts, but we don’t learn how to forgive after getting let down, disappointed, or heartbroken.

If we did get any education around forgiveness, it was to ‘let it go.’ While there is good intention underneath that, it’s not always helpful or empowering.

2. We don’t like to forgive.

Let’s be honest, we sometimes like holding grudges and resentments. We get off on feeling morally superior to others and holding resentments.

And while holding on to grudges is not healthy, helpful, or pleasurable, there is something we get out of it. We think holding onto grudges allows us to get rid of some of the pain and negativity, but it doesn’t get to the root of it and doesn’t allow us to be free.

In addition to this, many of us don’t like to forgive because we use it as an excuse for why things aren’t working out in our lives.  It’s easier to blame others or unfair circumstances, than it is to take responsibility for our lives.

3. Sometimes, we’re afraid to forgive.

Many of us are afraid to forgive because we worry that if we forgive a specific person or situation, we’re condoning their behavior and “letting them off the hook.” 

We want people to be responsible and accountable for what they did, and if we forgive them, they somehow get a pass.

But this isn’t true. Forgiveness is for us – it’s about freeing us from the pain, stress, resentment, and negativity we carry about the person or situation.

Forgiving someone or letting go of resentment doesn’t mean that we’re saying that whatever a person did is okay. We choose to forgive that person because we don’t want to relive the pain of that situation over again anymore – we don’t want to carry around that resentment anymore because it’s harmful to us.

How Can We Embrace the Power of Forgiveness?

If you have trouble or challenges forgiving, you’re not alone. Everyone struggles with this to some degree or another. It’s challenging to authentically forgive.

So what can we do?

1. Let go.

Don’t run away to avoid it. Think about all the resentment you hold – big and small. Create a list in your journal or with your therapist of what you hold onto – the baggage you carry. List the biggest resentments to the smallest ones.

It’s very likely that you are ready to let go of many of your resentments. Do you really want to hang on to something that someone said or did years, maybe even decades ago?

I’m not minimizing certain situations or traumas. If you’re not ready to let go of certain things, that’s fine too.

But what are you willing to let go of?

Ultimately, it’s a choice. You choose what you want to hold on to and what you want to let go of. 

2. Talk to the person directly. 

Have what I call a “sweaty-palmed conversation.” 

Having the conversation might be difficult and scary for you – and it might not always get resolved, but it’s a practical solution.

Most people feel much better after talking to someone they have an issue with or feel resentful towards – I certainly do. 

And while having a conversation may make you feel better, it doesn’t mean that the situation is magically resolved. You may not feel better after talking to people depending on the issue or nature of the person – but it will often help.

3. Write them a note.

The note can be in the form of an email, text message, hand-written letter, etc. Communicate with the person with the intention of having a conversation or saying what you need to forgive and let go. 

This is also something you can do to someone who has passed away or you no longer have communication with. If you cannot send the person the letter, just get all your feelings out.

4. Write an anger letter. 

Write an anger letter knowing you’re not going to send it to the person. This letter is going to be for you. Vent on the page – get it all out of your head.

You can keep it for a few days and re-read it, but destroy it once you feel like you’ve gotten all your emotions out. It’s like a message to your subconscious – you get all your feelings out, and let go.

This is another exercise you can do if the person is no longer in your life and you have no other way of letting go of your feelings toward the person.

5. Talk to a proxy (or to yourself).

Voice dialoguing with another human is extremely helpful. It could be a coach, therapist, or friend. 

That person will stand in for the person you hold resentment towards. Talk to that person as if they are the one you have the anger for.

It’s incredible what can happen when we do this because if we can get it out – get out all those emotions, feelings of anger and resentment – sometimes it helps us release our feelings of anger and resentment. 

You can also create a voice note and have a conversation with the person you are trying to forgive. You won’t send it to them, but just like writing an angry letter, you’re letting it out. You’re releasing the emotions. 

6. Practice meditation and visualization.

While meditating, try to visualize the person there. Imagine having a conversation with them about your feelings.

Visualization helps us remove negative emotions and focus our attention on positive things that can create change to our lives. Our minds cant differentiate between visualizing and what is real. That’s why visualization is such a crucial part of manifestation. 

7. Pray and ask for guidance.

Whether you’re religious or not, ask for guidance. Ask for the universe to help you let go of your resentment and frustration. 

Ultimately, the power of forgiveness comes from intention. 

We can lighten our load and take some of the emotional rocks out of the bags we carry around, we can let go of the resentments that hold us back. 

Forgiveness is a challenging but crucial aspect of our inner work. It is also a critical part of creating teams and relationships filled with authenticity and depth. 

Forgiving Ourselves

The most challenging aspect of forgiveness is forgiving ourselves – forgiving ourselves for holding onto a grudge for so long. 

Start with forgiving yourself. Do you forgive yourself for holding a grudge? 

Forgiving yourself is the first step that will open up space to forgive other people. 

What can you do right now to embrace the power of forgiveness?  Feel free to share your thoughts, ideas, or questions in the comments below.

Mike Robbins is the author of five books, including his latest, We’re All in This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging. He’s a thought leader and sought-after speaker whose clients include Google, Wells Fargo, Microsoft, Schwab, eBay, Genentech, the Oakland A’s, and many others.

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The Difficulty and Necessity of Accountability

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I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with accountability. Similar to feedback, I know how important it is for us to hold ourselves and others accountable.

It’s so essential to effectively embrace accountability ourselves and within our teams. It benefits us, our teams, and everyone around us.  And yet, it can be scary.

Why Accountability is so Important – and Stressful

Accountability often falls into the same category as conflict and feedback. Most of us don’t like getting or giving it, but it’s necessary.

So, why is accountability so hard for a lot of us?

We put stress and pressure on ourselves when we make a commitment and say we’re going to do something. We don’t want to mess up, disappoint people, or break our word. 

Accountability can be challenging because many of us have past trauma from it. It might be filled with shame or judgment – and that’s a big reason why many people shy away from it.

How do you hold someone accountable without shame, judgment, or-self righteousness? How do you hold yourself accountable without these things as well?

It can be difficult to create accountability for ourselves and to hold other people accountable in a healthy and productive way.

However, accountability is necessary for so many aspects of life—growth, relationships, success, and business. Without it, it’s difficult for us to get things done or push ourselves past our perceived limits.

Having Someone to Hold You Accountable

When we commit to things and have someone else outside of us hold us accountable, it motivates us. 

Utilize the people around you – your team, family, and people you trust. Use them as a support mechanism. Make a commitment to them and hold yourself accountable. Knowing that someone else outside of you is holding you accountable will push you to accomplish whatever you set out to do.

Where can you use some accountability in your life? Where can you use support or guidance to hold you accountable and keep you focused on things you’ve been avoiding?

If we hold ourselves and others accountable without shame and judgment, we can make adjustments. We can better approach accountability by having some structure, tracking what we do, and having someone outside of us to whom we can talk or make commitments.

This is one way our team can be an incredibly valuable resource to us and everyone else on the team. It’s like playing on a sports team. There’s built-in accountability on every sports team because you have to count on each other to win. Each team member is accountable for putting in the work, putting in the effort, showing up on time, etc.

Use the People Around You to Hold You Accountable in a Healthy Way

You have to have clear and healthy expectations when it comes to accountability.

Where can you use and seek out accountability? Where is accountability missing or lacking in your team, group, or family? Who can you talk to that will help you embrace those important but sometimes uncomfortable sweaty-palmed conversations? 

We all have to grapple with the challenge of accountability. A lot of us have a love-hate relationship with it. We fear it, but we need it in life.

Look at your life. Who can you trust to lean on and to create more accountability? Learn how to build that muscle of holding each other accountable without shame, self-righteousness, or judgment. Build that muscle with truth, compassion, and clarity and see what happens.

Fee free to share your thoughts, ideas, or questions in the comments below.

Mike Robbins is the author of five books, including his latest, We’re All in This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging. He’s a thought leader and sought-after speaker whose clients include Google, Wells Fargo, Microsoft, Schwab, eBay, Genentech, the Oakland A’s, and many others.

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Are You Addicted to Struggle?

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While it isn’t easy to admit, I can see how my own addiction to struggling has actually and somewhat ironically created more struggle in my life.

How about you…are you addicted to struggle? 

Many of us have resistance to allowing things to come easy.

Here are some of the main “reasons” and beliefs we tend to hold in this regard (which can keep our struggle addiction in place):

  • If I don’t have to struggle for something, it doesn’t mean all that much.
  • If things come easy to me, other people will get jealous, won’t like me, or respect me.
  • It’s not fair for things to be easy for me (i.e., I have to struggle)—especially with so many people having such a hard time these days.
  • I get off on struggling and suffering—I’m quite familiar with it, and I’ve used it as motivation to change and “succeed” for much of my life.
  • My ability to work hard, overcome adversity, and rise above challenges are all things my ego uses to feel superior to others.
  • If I don’t struggle for something I won’t feel like I deserve it when it happens.
  • Struggling allows me to avoid taking responsibility for certain aspects of my life and keeps me “focused.” I get to avoid uncomfortable feelings, situations, and circumstances I don’t want to deal with.

Can you relate to any of these? Maybe you have others as well.

Getting in touch with some of these reasons and beliefs can be painful and eye-opening at the same time.  Ownership is the key to change.

Letting Go of Struggle

While working hard, overcoming adversity, and being passionately committed to important things in our lives aren’t inherently wrong—resisting ease and being attached to struggle causes us great stress, worry, and pain. And in many cases, this difficulty is self-induced and unnecessary.

What if we allowed things to be easier? What if we started to speak about and own the aspects of our lives that are easy to us and started to expect things to get even easier? 

What if we let go of our attachment (or addiction, as it were) to struggle? 

Easy doesn’t mean lazy—that we aren’t willing to put in the work or that we expect a “free ride”—it means that we’re willing to have things work out, trust that all is well, and allow life to flow in a positive and elegant way for us.

Our desire and ability to embrace ease in our life isn’t selfish, arrogant, or unrealistic—it’s profoundly optimistic (in an authentic way) and can enhance our ability to impact others. 

The more energy and attention we place on surviving, getting by, or even “striving” for success, the less available we are to give, serve, and make a difference for other people.

Although it can be challenging for many reasons, letting go of our addiction to struggle is one of the best ways we can show up for those around us—both by our example and with our freed-up positive energy.

As Richard Bach famously said, “Argue for your limitations, and they’re yours.”

What if we stopped arguing on behalf of how “hard” things are and started to allow our life to be filled with more peace and ease instead of perpetuating the struggle? 

While the idea of things authentically being easy may not be the easiest thing for you to embrace, especially these days, I challenge you (as I challenge myself) to take this on in your life and become more comfortable with it.

Maybe it will actually be easier than you think.

What can you do to let go of struggle and allow things to be easier? Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, actions, and more in the comments below.

I have written five books about the importance of trust, authenticity, appreciation, and more. In addition, I deliver keynotes and seminars (both in-person and virtually) to empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. Finally, as an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more authentic and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today. You can also listen to my podcast here.

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