For much of my life I’ve struggled to accept certain things about myself, others, and life that I don’t like. Being someone who is committed to change and transformation, the idea of “acceptance” has often seemed weak, wimpy, or like an admission of failure or powerlessness to me – although I have pretended to understand, believe in, and even teach the power of acceptance for a long time.
The truth is, I’ve been scared to fully embrace acceptance – worrying that if I truly accept certain aspects of myself that I don’t like, things about others that bother me, or circumstances in my life or in the world that aren’t okay with me, then somehow I wouldn’t be motivated to change them in a positive way or, even worse, I would get resigned about them and they would always stay the way they are – which, of course, to me would be “bad” or “wrong.”
The famous quote by Carl Jung, which I have quoted in both of my books and find myself saying all the time comes to mind here, “What you resist, persists.” It seems that I (and so many people I know, work with, and talk to) am constantly “resisting” (more like fighting against) the way things are. Whether it’s with our body, our work, our spouse, our family members, our friends, our co-workers, our finances, the state of the world and economy (especially these days), or many other things – we’re often arguing with reality instead of accepting it the way that it is.
Even though it can be scary and counter intuitive at times, acceptance is the first step in transformation. It’s very difficult and quite stressful (as I know from experience) to try to change things from a place of non-acceptance.
Acceptance is not resignation, failure, or agreement; it’s simply telling the truth and allowing things to be as they are. When we accept ourselves, others, and life – we can create a real sense of peace and let go of much of our suffering. And, from this place of peace and truth, we’re more able to not only appreciate life, but also to manifest the kind of circumstances, relationships, and outcomes we truly want.
Action: What You Can Do
Make a list (in your mind, in your journal, or on a piece of paper) of some of the things in your life right now that are causing you the most stress, pain, or anxiety. These things may have to do with work, money, relationships, health, things happening in the world, your body, or anything else.
As you think about or write these things down, ask yourself if you’re willing to “accept” them as they are right now. You don’t have to like, agree with, or want them to be this way…but, if you can start to accept these things, people, and situations in a genuine way – your ability to be at peace with them (and your life) and to ultimately change them in a positive way will be enhanced significantly.
What have you been unwilling to accept in your life? How can practicing the power of acceptance create more peace, joy, and fulfillment for you right now? Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, actions, and more on my blog below.
Hi Mike,
Another wonderful article.. In fact as I was reading through I felt this is the first step before anything. The second step you covered in your Oct10 article about “Why is this happening FOR me”. I’m not sure if you believe in that “everything happens for a reason” and seeing the pattern that “what you resist, persist” throws up can help you understand the lesson you’re required to learn to move on… Regards. Elvis
Mike
Your article really resignated with me. Being content with who you are and facing your fears are two very difficult things. However, we cant become better unless we face our fears and are content with who we are.
it is very interesting to note that Louise Hay’s mantra is: self-acceptance and self-appreciation. As you mention above, change or forward movement starts from a point of acceptance. When I started recording some of my thoughts in a blog last year I wrote about acceptance (https://bit.ly/gvA6wg) . Thank you Mike for confirming my thoughts on acceptance.
Hi Mike,
I would like to comment on what your thought is on what you mentioned about items in your life that caused stress. Personally I do not see how I can be able to accept or be at peace with personal stress related items and change them in a positive way. I have always felt that stress related items in my life need to disappear and go away.
Randy
I have read a few just right stuff here. Certainly price bonarkmkiog for revisiting. I wonder how so much effort you set to make this type of great informative website.
How does one reconcile non-acceptance with determination and resilience? My goal is to recover from my disability before I have to accept it!
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Eu penso que a contestei nos comentarios 17 e 19, as bacterias son máis antigas xa que o petróleo obtense da materia orgánica, unha materia que «existiu» moito máis tarde.
I don’t know in Spain, but in Argentina, I have heard friends talking of someone else as: “Le falta un fósforo en la cajita”(fósforo = cerilla, in Spain) Thus: his/her box is short of a match… something like that!
I told my kids we’d play after I found what I needed. Damnit.
Thought it wouldn’t to give it a shot. I was right.
Some people break down early and some run late in life with no problems.I have friends who run 10 miles per day and long on Sundays, and are much older than you.No one can say what will happen in years to come, but I always think we should do what makes us happy rather than play it safe.As long as you are healthy and wear good shoes, run as you please.
Why do fields of sheep always look so peaceful? Are we conditioned to think of them as something to help us fall asleep? I like the sounds of this recipe. Is Caprial the same woman who had the cooking show "Cooking with Caprial" several years ago? We don't get her shows here any more.