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Well, I did not post to my blog for a few weeks and here I am making my second post in two days?!? Ah, to be human…
I came across a quote when I was writing my book last summer that I love. “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” This was said my the famous Oscar Wilde. What a great statement. As simple as this is, many of us (myself included) struggle to do just this – BE OURSELVES.
Our obsessions with being liked, looking good, getting ahead, fitting in, and more make it difficult for us to truly be ourselves. We worry that if we really said, felt, and acted in a way that was truly authentic, we might lost our jobs, our friends, and our way of life. Or, even if our fears are not this extreme, we are at least concerned that being authentic would cause problems and upset people in our daily lives. Therefore, it is way easier to fall in line, do and say what we are “supposed” to, and work hard to “make it” in life as best we can.
However, selling out on who we truly are, how we honestly feel, and what we authentically want only leads to frustration, anger, and resentment. The truth is, we are not really taught to be ourselves, express ourselves, or be authentic. We don’t usually learn authenticity from our parents, teachers, leaders, or peers.
It is a courageous act to step out and be who we really are. And, it is an on-going process in life. Being true to ourselves does not necessarily mean arguing, protesting, or getting in people’s faces (although it could), it simply means we do, say, feel, think, and express ourselves in ways that are real, vulnerable, and true to our hearts – regardless of the reaction of others or what we think other people want from us. It is not easy, but all of us have experienced it, even in a small way, throughout our lives. And, having experienced this, we all know the peace and freedom that comes from this level of truth and authenticity.
Most people I talk to are longing for a world of deeper truth, authenticity, and freedom. It is easy to get people to agree that most politicians, people in the media, and even many people around them are “full of it” to some degree or other. However, it is harder for most of us to admit that we, too, are mostly “full of it” in how we live our lives and operate on a daily basis. I don’t say this as a negative judgement of myself or the rest of us on the planet, just as an observation. When each of us is willing to truly be ourselves, tell the truth, and live with a deeper level of authenticity, we will not only create a greater sense of personal freedom in our lives, we will be doing our part to create a new culture in which we all can live with more freedom, peace, and fun. Wouldn’t that be great?
With Love and Truth,
Mike
Happy May! It has been a few weeks since I last posted to my blog. I have been on the road and life has been filled with lots of wonderful things…hence the delay in posting.
One of my recent trips was to Los Angeles for the Milken Institute Global Conference. The Milken Institute is an international, economic think tank that addresses global issues including poverty, climate change, education, medicine, politics, and more. The work of the Milken Institute is focused on researching how the capital markets can influence positive change in the world and then educating businesses and those with wealth about how to use their money in the most effective way possible.
I was invited to the conference as a board member of the Peace Alliance. I, and a few of my fellow board members, were asked to attend this event to meet as many people as possible and talk to folks about the “profitability” of peace in our nation and our world. We hope that at next year’s event there will be a session devouted to this topic and to the idea of creating a U.S. Department of Peace, which is what our organization is working on primarily these days.
The conference was fascinating on so many levels. First of all, I have never been to an event attended by people with more wealth and influence. A short list of some of the presenters and panelists that I saw speak: John Kerry, Ted Turner, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gray Davis, Michael J. Fox, Bill Frist, Arianna Huffington, Steve Forbes, Rupert Murdoch, Andrea Agassi, Bradley Whitford, Harold Ford Jr., and many others. I was amazed and incredibly impressed with the knowledge, awareness, success, and thoughtfulness of most of the speakers.
A number of sessions dealt directly with politics, climate change, and philanthropy. I was continually blown away by the level of caring and compassion and how much time, money, and energy is being put into such important issues. It was incredibly inspiring.
Many of the panels were purposely set up with people from opposing view points and political persuasions. There were some heated debates. But, mostly I found the dialogue and discourse to be respectful and fascinating. While there were a number of people I personally disagreed with, I found myself learning from just about everyone I heard speak and most of the people I met attending the conference, although we had many differences. And, the deeper I listened, the more I heard the similarities between even the most diverse view points. Ken Mehlman, the former chairman of the Republican National Committee and the campaign director for George W. Bush’s re-election campaign in 2004 (someone who prior to the conference I could not stand and did not think I agreed with about anything) said something that stuck with me. He said, “Most of us have similar goals, fears, and aspirations for ourselves, our families, and our nation. We just have different views and ideas about how to best get there.” I found this comment and much of what Ken had to say to be very insightful, aware, and thoughtful. Even though I do disagree with him politically, I came away with a great deal of respect, compassion, and understanding for him – both politically and personally.
My experience with Ken Mehlman was powerful for me and it reminded me that in our world of 24 hour news, sound bites and debates, and constant bombardment from the media and other places about how “bad” things are, how much we all hate each other, and how divided our nation and our world are right now…maybe this is just negative hype, and the deeper truth is that while we do have our differences and some of them are significant, at a fundamental level we are all much more alike than we are different.
With this in mind, see if you can start to appreciate some of the differences you have with others around you, have more compassion for those you disagree with, and look for where you have commonalities more than conflicts with other people – in your personal life, at work, on TV, in politics, and in general. I think if we all looked for more of our similarities and realized how much we have in common as human beings, we could alter our world in a very positive way.
With Love and Peace,
Mike
Hello…
In light of the recent media frenzy connected to the racist and sexist comments made by radio/television host Dom Imus, I have been thinking a lot about my “shadow.” As you know, our shadows are important aspects of our personalities. And, many of us live our daily lives completely unconscious about our shadows (the aspects of ourselves that we hide, deny, and pretend don’t exist). I, personally, struggle with my own shadow all the time. There are aspects of myself that I don’t like, I want to conceal, and in all honesty I am not even aware of in any conscious way. However, if we don’t confront our shadow, tell the truth about it, and do the deep personal work involved with healing, forgiving, and accepting ourselves, our shadows will end up running our lives and will keep us asleep in an unconscious, self-righteous, arrogant daze.
While I thought what Don Imus said was mean, insensitive, unnecessary, racist, and sexist, I find the reaction to the whole situation a little perplexing. On a certain level, I am happy to see a strong statement and a call for accountability, justice, and equality. However, on a deeper level, I think most of us, whatever our personal views or opinions are as it relates to this issue or to racism and sexism as a whole, are being hypocritical in our assessments. While the majority of people I know, myself included, would never say what Don Imus said publicly on a radio or television show, all of us have both said and definitely thought things that are much meaner, more hurtful, more sexist, and more racist than that.
I am a white male, but my experience as someone in this “privileged” position is a bit unique. I grew up in Oakland, CA, was raised by my mother in a single parent household without much money, went to an inner-city high school with only 18% white people, was the only white person in the entire basketball league, and got my college degree in American Studies with a specialization in race and ethnicity. Growing up in liberal, politically correct, Northern California, I learned early on in my life what I supposed to say and think as it related to both issues of race and gender. More importantly, I also learned what NOT to say.
As I have grown and deepened my awareness of both social oppression and also personal and spiritual development, I have gained a greater understanding of myself and of the importance of being kind, loving, and accepting of myself and others. I consider myself to be fair, open, honest, accepting, trusting, loving, and more. I also have always had the ability to get along with all kinds of people and fit in in most situations. And, even with all of this, I know that I have both significant racist and sexist thoughts and tendencies…as well as many other thoughts, feelings, and opinions (both conscious and not) that are mean, hurtful, and not anything that I am proud of.
This dark stuff, our shadow side, is as much a part of who we are as anything else. I don’t see it as “bad,” just dark. I think we need to raise our awareness and our dialogue about this and start telling the truth about it. Most of the political, social, and familiar discussions, conflicts, and issues that we all face have to do with us not owning up to these shadowy aspects of ourselves.
This is not to say that Don Imus (and the rest of us) should be “let off the hook,” or not held accountable for our words and deeds. It is to say, however, that we all have aspects of “good” and “evil” within us. Life is much more complex that it seems on the surface and we waste a lot of time trying to argue for how things “should be” in some unrealistic, fantasy world of black and white. We all have some Don Imus in us. We all also have some George W. Bush, Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Hitler. And, we also have some Dr. King, Gandhi, Caesar Chavez, Jesus, and others in us as well.
If we can be more honest about this and embrace both our light shadow and our dark shadow, we can be truly free. By doing this, we can also have more compassion, understanding, and love for others – even those we don’t like and don’t agree with. By embracing our shadows, we could stop most of the arguments, judgements, conflicts, fights, and wars in our world – on a personal level and on a global level. We have to be willing to confront the truth and be able to love ourselves in the process. We are complex beings, filled with paradoxy, confusion, brilliance, and deep pain, among other things. Looking at ourselves, being honest about it, and being willing to confront the real complexity of being human is not easy. And, it is essential. I continue to practice and both fail and succeed at this all the time. This is one of the most important games in town. Ah…to be human!
If you want to do some great shadow work, I highly recommend all of Debbie Ford’s work. Her book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, is amazing. And, her weekend workshop, The Shadow Process, is one of the best workshops I have ever done. Check out https://www.debbieford.com
Love,
Mike
Last night Michelle and I watched The Celestine Prophecy. This movie, based on the 1995 best-selling book by James Redfield, is incredible. I am so glad that we watched it, for a number of reasons. First of all, I have been embarrassed for many years that I never got around to reading this book, since so many people reference it and talk about it. Second of all, the story spoke to me on a deep, spiritual level. It is all about our true nature, our purpose on the planet, and our connection to the divine.
Today being Easter, I am thinking about my own connection to God. In truth, I have been so busy running around “doing” and taking care of things – my business, our daughter, our house, our finances, planning my book launch, and more – I have not been feeling all that connected to God or to my inner wisdom lately.
In our fast-paced world, it is easy to get caught up in the material and physical realities in front of us. We watch the news, sit in traffic, write emails, make phone calls, worry about our bills, clean our houses, buy new clothes, go on diets, watch movies, and so much more. All of these things, and many others, make up the daily existence of our lives. In and of themselves, there is nothing wrong with our daily activities. However, most of us don’t spend all that much time connecting at a deep level with our hearts, our souls, or with God.
This notion of connecting with God can be tricky for me and many of us. We have many ideas and limits for how we think we are “supposed” to do this – on holidays like today, at a church, synagogue, or temple, with other people at a ceremony, gathering, or celebration, etc. The truth is, we have lots of “rules” for of expressions of spirituality and how we think we should connect with God, if at all.
As I watched the movie last night and sat with myself as I was falling asleep and again when I woke up early this morning, I found myself thinking and feeling on a different level – connecting to my higher awareness and my heart in a way that felt good. I felt God within me and all around, not because I am supposed to or because I was at a religious event, but because I opened my mind and my heart and allowed myself to connect.
Whatever our beliefs are and even if we believe that God does not exist at all, there is a way for each of us to connect with the “divine” within us and around us all the time. As the Celestine Prophecy teaches us, it is about us opening up to the universe and experiencing the magic of life. This magic is all around us, all the time. It is our job to allow ourselves to appreciate it and notice it. When we do this, we are able to deeply connect with God whenever we want.
Hey there…
I want to talk about one of the most “taboo” subjects in our culture, MONEY! It seems ironic to me that this topic is so taboo, since almost everything we do, much of our work, and a lot of our lives are focused around making money, saving money, having money, not having enough money, worrying about money, etc. We talk about it, think about it, see it, and know about it…but we rarely REALLY talk about it or share our fears, doubts, confusions, or anything else about money in an authentic way. And, most people will tell you all kinds of personal details about their lives before they will ever tell you how much money they make, what their net-worth is, or how much debt they have.
I think that money is especially on my mind this week as I have a meeting scheduled with my CPA on Thursday to get all of my tax info together. While I am pretty organized, every year at this time, I find myself feeling stupid, unprepared, and embarrassed. I feel like there was some class in school about money, taxes, and keeping things in order that I must have missed. And, no matter how much I learn each year, it seems that the whole tax thing is a complete mystery to me. It points to a deeper issue for me about money…that I don’t “get it,” will never have enough of it, and even that I don’t deserve it. The irony is that I am making more money now than I ever have in my life…and these thoughts and feelings are still there, sometimes with more vigor than ever before.
I think that most of us suffer from a lack of appreciation about money, among other things. Rarely do I hear people say, “I have plenty of money, I am grateful for it, and I don’t worry about it at all.” Most of the time we think we are failing financially, comparing ourselves to others who we assume have more, and feeling as though no matter how much (or little) we make, it will never be enough. However, even for someone like me who grew up in a family with little money and who has never considered myself “rich” financially…I have to acknowledge that there has always been more than enough money in my life to do the things I wanted to do – eat, stay warm, grow up, go to college, live in pretty nice places, start my business, buy a car, buy a house, go on trips, and so much more. For most people in our culture, this phenomenon is true.
Instead of worrying so much about our money, thinking we don’t have enough, and spending our time and energy judging ourselves for what we think we should be doing about money, what if we took some time to appreciate the money that we all already have and all that it has allowed us to do and have in our lives. If we have enough money to pay the rent or mortgage, buy food for ourselves and our families, and go about our daily lives in the way that we do, we are more fortunate than the majority of the world. What a waste if we are not able to appreciate and enjoy it. As with anything else, by us appreciating all that we have, we will not stop in our pursuit of moving forward, striving for success, or even manifesting more. Ironically, it is when we stop to appreciate the wonderful aspects of our lives that we tap into the creative and magical power of appreciation that can help us attract more of what we want – money, peace, love, joy, health, success, fun, or anything else.
Regardless of how much money you have, I bet you have enough – more than enough – to live your life, be comfortable, and to think, feel, and do most (if not all) of what you want to. I know this is true for me. If you stop and think about it, that’s pretty cool for all of us. The challenge is for us to focus on that and appreciate what we have all the time. The more we appreciate our money, the more freedom and abundance we will experience.
With Love and Truth,
Mike