Mike Robbins

Infusing Life and Business with Authenticity and Appreciation

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Why Taking Breaks Is So Important

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In today’s busy world with a never-ending “to-do” list of obligations, responsibilities, and commitments, it can be hard for us to take a real break. 

But taking breaks in the midst of the daily grind is vital for our mental, physical, and emotional health.

Why Taking Breaks is So Important

Wherever you are in your career and life, it’s essential to build in time to rest, relax, and rejuvenate.

We used to get built-in breaks when we were in school (winter, spring, summer, and more), but in the real world, it can be a lot tougher to take time off, especially these past few years. Even if we do get vacation days, it can be hard to really disconnect and some of us even fear taking time off. 

As I grew my own business, got married, and built a family, I began to see both the necessity and difficulty of carving out downtime.

Taking breaks means giving ourselves permission to unplug and let go, which is actually easier said than done for many of us. It gives us a chance to rest our brains, shift our daily habits, and let our minds wander.  Doing these things are essential for our relationships, work, wellbeing, and creativity.

We are never promised tomorrow, and no one is sure what each day will bring. 

I’ve experienced quite a bit of loss and grief in my life.  As hard and painful as this can be, it does force us to stop and reflect on our own lives. It makes us ask why we’re doing what we’re doing and what really matters.

We all have deadlines, commitments, meetings, projects, and other things that are important. But we never know what’s going to happen. Tomorrow is not promised. That’s why it’s important to rest in between all of our activities and ambitions. 

A break can be a nice vacation, or it can just be something simple, such as going for a quiet walk or reading a book. 

You don’t have to plan an elaborate getaway, as nice as those can be. A break can be as simple as disconnecting for a few minutes to stare out the window and appreciate your life.

I keep one journal for thoughts/feelings and another specifically for gratitude. I find when I take the time to write in these books, it always gives me a nice built-in time for reflection. 

Doing little things like journaling, or even going on a walk and being present with yourself and your surroundings can make a difference.

Staying busy can be a way to distract ourselves from our own feelings. 

We have so many ways to numb and distract ourselves these days, especially with work, technology, social media, and more. Feeling our feelings can be hard, painful, and scary, but that’s where the juice of life happens. 

The more time we give to fully feeling all of our emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, the more quickly we move through them.

We’re all in this together.

When we get down to the essence of who we are as human beings, we may be different in so many ways, yet we all know what it’s like to feel universal emotions like joy, sadness, gratitude, fear, peacefulness, anger, love, and more.

When we take breaks, we allow ourselves to get in touch with our humanity and who we really are.  This helps us check in with ourselves and in turn allows us to connect more authentically with others.

As busy as we all are and as much as is coming at us all the time, it’s essential for us to slow down, step back, and engage with ourselves and each other in a conscious and deliberate way.  Doing this reminds us that even though it may not always seem like it, we truly are all in this together.

 

Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.

 

Mike Robbins is the author of five books, including his latest, We’re All in This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging. He’s a thought leader and sought-after speaker whose clients include Google, Wells Fargo, Microsoft, Schwab, eBay, Genentech, the Oakland A’s, and many others.

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The Importance of Embracing Emotions (Including Anger)

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Embracing our emotions can be challenging.  When it comes to finding healthy ways to feel and even express our anger, specifically, the stakes can feel even higher. We often think of anger as something to be ashamed of, avoided, or hidden.

However, learning how to feel and express our anger in healthy ways is an important part of our emotional development. It makes us better leaders, better partners, better parents, and better people.

Although anger is an intense emotion that can be challenging for us to embrace, there can be real value in giving ourselves more freedom to tap into it. Anger can sometimes motivate us to say things we need to say and help us dig deep enough to have those important, sweaty-palmed conversations that are long overdue and can be easy to avoid.

(Are you avoiding a difficult conversation? Read this post next)

Good vs. Bad Emotions

First, let’s talk about what we deem “good” emotions versus those, like anger or jealousy, that we tend to see as “bad.”

Keep in mind, while we may be experiencing certain emotions in a negative context, that doesn’t mean any emotion is inherently good or bad. Instead, emotions become problematic when we suppress them and don’t feel them authentically. After all, we’ve been trained to suppress our emotions and in service of being “professional,” “grown-up,” or “appropriate.”  This can sometimes mean we can get stuck and unable to feel or express our true emotions.

Many of us have been conditioned to keep our feelings under wraps. Things like our age, gender, race, background, and other factors often play a role in how much space we feel we have to express our emotions. For example, many men in Western society are socialized to “be strong” and not show weakness, which can make it harder for us to embrace our emotions—especially those seen as negative.  Alternatively, many people who self-identify as being a member of one or more non-dominant groups, may not feel safe enough to express their true feelings for fear of retribution, isolation, or even violence.

When we don’t allow ourselves to feel our emotions, they can start to control us. We may find ourselves lashing out in anger or freezing up when we’re feeling overwhelmed with sadness. In these cases, our emotions are no longer serving us—they are running our lives.

Passing Emotions vs. States

It’s also worth mentioning there’s a difference between feeling an emotion and living in that state. Emotions come and go, and feeling a certain way is different than being that way. 

For example, when we say “I’m feeling mad,” as opposed to “I’m mad,” it makes it more about the passing emotion and less about living in a state of anger. Not to mention, anger is often a secondary emotion. The truth is, bursts of anger can really be unresolved hurt and disappointment, or underlying sadness or fear. But embracing the emotions you’re feeling in that moment can help you get to the root of what’s causing you to feel that way in the first place. Feeling these feelings is also what can stop us from becoming them.

In short, all of our emotions are valid and worth exploring—even the ones we don’t enjoy. So, how do we do that? How can we start to embrace our anger and other challenging emotions in a healthy way?

Here are some of my favorite ways to do so…

  • Give yourself permission to be angry
  • Write an anger letter (read more about anger letters in this post about the power of forgiveness)
  • Practice visualization
  • Journal
  • Do healthy productive things to get the anger out physically in a conscious way (beat on pillows, yell in a secluded environment, exercise)

To learn more about these strategies for embracing emotions, check out my entire podcast episode on the importance of embracing emotions.

Emotions and Leadership

If you’re in a leadership role, keep in mind that great leaders provide a safe space for their team to express their emotions. Just imagine what it could mean for your team if people could express their true feelings in mature and genuine ways. It takes quite a bit of emotional intelligence and maturity to hear and receive someone’s anger and not react to it. But when you demonstrate this skill as a leader, it helps establish a psychologically safe environment in which people can share openly without judgment or fear. 

 

Do you find it hard to feel and express certain emotions? What can you do to allow yourself to tap into anger and other hard emotions in an authentic and liberating way? Feel free to leave your thoughts and ideas in the comments below.

 

Mike Robbins is the author of five books, including his latest, We’re All in This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging. He’s a thought leader and sought-after speaker whose clients include Google, Wells Fargo, Microsoft, Schwab, eBay, Genentech, the Oakland A’s, and many others.

Here are three more to read next:

This, Too, Shall Pass

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This, too, shall pass.

It is a saying we hear often. People will say it to us when we are going through something difficult, and while there is profound truth and wisdom in this mantra, it can also be tricky.

We must be careful about when and how we say this phrase to others and how we think about it ourselves, especially these days. 

So, how can we embrace this in an authentic way amidst our own challenges right now? 

How Can We Embrace “This, Too, Shall Pass?”

A big part of embracing “this, too, shall pass” is reminding ourselves that good and bad times don’t last. We can surrender to life’s ebbs and flows, including when we go through something difficult and when we go through something great.

The tricky thing about this phrase, though, is that it sometimes minimizes the experiences that people have. 

People go through many challenges and difficulties throughout their lives, and it’s essential to be mindful of this. It’s also important not to compare our challenges, pain, or suffering to what other people are going through. 

Imagine someone who is sick or has lost someone close to them. Telling the person that “this, too, shall pass” can be insensitive. It may not speak to the challenge or pain of the moment they’re experiencing.

“This, too, shall pass” is similar to the common saying that “everything happens for a reason” or that “there’s always a silver lining.” While it’s all true, saying these things to people doesn’t often support them or honor their experience.

Remember to be Mindful

We must be mindful when we say these phrases to others – and ourselves. It’s critical to acknowledge the difficulty and challenge of particular experiences with empathy.

We’ve all been through painful things and figured out how to get through them.  None of us have been through a global pandemic before, and we are just now beginning to really deal with the impact and difficulties it had on our lives, culture, and economy. 

What Can You Control?

Experiences teach us things, and while we can’t control everything in life, what we can control is how we show up. 

There are really only two things we can control – our attitude and our effort. Everything else is out of our control.

We’ve all made it through and survived 100 percent of the challenges we’ve endured up to this point in our lives.

We’re All in This Together

Our world has gone through unbelievable stress, challenge, difficulty, war, change, and more throughout history.. But through our adaptability, resilience, grit, and good fortune, we as individuals, families, communities, a nation, and the world have figured out how to overcome these challenges. This doesn’t mean there’s no loss, pain, or impact, but we do know how to get through hard times.

It’s important to acknowledge that life is often an emotional rollercoaster, it’s also critical to allow ourselves to feel the emotions and trust that they will pass – that we will get through it. It doesn’t mean we know exactly when we will get through it, but that’s all a part of the process. 

Remembering that we’re all in this together and that this, too, shall pass are two essential things we can hold onto in the midst of everything going on. Remembering how strong and resilient we are and knowing that we will get through whatever we are dealing with are essential things for us to focus on as we navigate any challenge we face.

 

How do you work your way through challenging times? What can you do to support others going through difficulties? Feel free to leave your thoughts and ideas in the comments below.

 

Mike Robbins is the author of five books, including his latest, We’re All in This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging. He’s a thought leader and sought-after speaker whose clients include Google, Wells Fargo, Microsoft, Schwab, eBay, Genentech, the Oakland A’s, and many others.

 

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Be a Force for Good

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In the wake of some of the recent events in the world and in light of so much of what we’ve all been through the past few years, I’ve been finding it challenging to focus on the good stuff, even though this is at the core of my approach to life and what I teach.

As I’ve been looking at this more deeply, I realize that my commitment is not necessarily to be “positive,” but to be a force for good in the world, regardless of the circumstances.

When facing challenges, I think it’s important to ask ourselves, “who do I want to be in the face of these difficulties?” 

Being a force for good doesn’t mean we have to be happy or always find the silver lining. It’s more about making a commitment to ourselves and to those around us that we’ll be part of the solution instead of simply commenting on or adding to the problems themselves.

Doing this allows us to overcome challenges and obstacles and turn problems into life lessons with positive outcomes.

When the issues we’re facing are geo-political, societal, or have to do with natural disasters (as has been the case in recent years), it can often seem overwhelming.  

However, how we show up, communicate, and respond to what’s happening around us in the world can have a significant and positive impact when we commit to being a force for good.

How to be a Force for Good

Here are a few things we can do or think about in this regard right now:

1) Look for ways you can help.  

Fred Rogers, one of my childhood heroes, famously said, “When I was a boy, and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping’.”  

He’s right – and I always try to remember this myself. 

In addition to looking for the helpers (and appreciating and honoring them), we can all be helpers in both big and small ways.  

Whether we donate money, make phone calls, post, or reach out and share our good thoughts and prayers, there are always ways to help.  

And being of service not only helps those we assist directly, but it’s also a way to act as a force for good, no matter the situation.

2) Be proactive with your complaints.  

There are two types of complaints – idle complaints (when we whine and moan about how bad things are) and proactive complaints (when we take issue with something and proactively bring it to the attention of those who can potentially do something about it).  

An excellent example of this here in our country is contacting our elected representatives – at the national, state, and local level.  

Whether we voted for them or not, they work for us.  Picking up the phone, writing a letter, sending an email, or posting on social media directly to one of our elected representatives and letting them know how we feel about something specific is a way we can influence change and be proactive with our complaints.  

Sitting around and talking about how awful something is, which is understandable and common, especially these days, doesn’t usually make things better. But proactive complaints can be the catalyst for positive and productive change in many situations.

3) Don’t get caught up in the drama.  

Over the past few years, I’ve been getting caught up in the constant drama of the daily headlines and news. It’s easy to do, especially given all that has been happening in our country and our world.  

However, this usually doesn’t feel great or allow us to be a real force for good. While I think many good journalists are doing essential and courageous work, the media as a whole is set up right now to get our attention and do whatever they can to have us watch, click, and then buy what they’re advertisers are selling.

The news often leads with shock, drama, fear, and outrage, since these things grab us emotionally and get our attention. We must be mindful of how we engage the news and the media.  

This constant fear/drama cycle often leads us to feel upset, discouraged, or even depressed. Sometimes the best thing we can do is unplug and look for ways to help.

4) Speak up with authenticity.  

There are lots of important things going on around us these days that are calling us to speak up. 

Speaking up is an important thing to do. It takes a lot of courage and can be a specific way for us to be a force for good. However, we must be authentic when we speak up.  

I define authenticity as honesty – self-righteousness + vulnerability. 

It’s important to be honest, but we must also remove our self-righteousness and add vulnerability (emotional exposure, risk, and uncertainty).  

We can have a real impact if we’re willing to speak up authentically. 

5) Focus on gratitude. 

During challenges and difficulties, it’s sometimes hard to focus on gratitude. But it’s also so essential for us to do. 

When we see people suffering, we can honor and support them by both acknowledging their pain and at the same time being grateful for our own blessings.  

Being grateful isn’t mutually exclusive with wanting to support and be of service to those who are in need. Even during challenging times, there is always so much we can appreciate.

Even though there have been a lot of challenges, pain, loss, and trauma in our country and our world recently, we always have a choice as to how we’re going to show up, what we’re going to do, and who we’re going to be in the face of all of this.  

To paraphrase the Greek philosopher, Epictetus, “Circumstances don’t define us, they reveal us.” 

Our friends, co-workers, teammates, family members, and the people in our communities benefit most when we show up as authentically as we possibly can and do our best to be a true force for good.

 

What can you do to be a force for good right now? Share your thoughts, feelings, and insights about this here below.

 

Mike Robbins is the author of five books, including his latest, We’re All in This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging. He’s a thought leader and sought-after speaker whose clients include Google, Wells Fargo, Microsoft, Schwab, eBay, Genentech, the Oakland A’s, and many others.

 

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This article was published in 2017 and has been updated.

The Power of Patience

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Patience is powerful. It can help us persevere, reduce stress, and overcome challenges.

Patience may be a virtue, but it’s something I often find challenging. How about you?

Given the pace, uncertainty, and intensity of life and work these days, I don’t think I’m alone in the struggle to be patient.  

But why can it be so difficult to be patient? How can we be more patient with ourselves and those around us…at work and in life?

We live in an intense, fast-paced world. Everything is about speed, scale, and execution.

Slowing down has never been a strength for me in my life. I’ve always found it difficult to let things be and trust the process. 

However, this is actually what patience is all about – allowing things to be as they are and trusting that things will unfold as they are meant to.

It’s hard to do this in the best of circumstances, but over the last few years, it’s been even more challenging. One thing that can make patience specifically tricky is the fear that things won’t work out. 

While taking deliberate action and being proactive are essential, finding balance is also important. 

In my life, I’m often on the side of action and focus, which can, unfortunately, turn into control. 

As the saying goes, “Slow and steady wins the race.”  But, many of us collectively struggle to be patient and trust the process. Being patient is challenging for many of us – but there are real benefits to it regarding our wellbeing and success.

How to Embrace the Power of Patience

Here are some things we can do to be more patient…

1. Trust

Trust the process, trust yourself, and trust life. 

The psychological concept of basic trust is the belief that the world is safe – that we can trust life and the people around us. 

Having basic trust can be challenging depending on your life experiences and the things you’ve been through, as well as who you are, where you come from, and what you look like. 

But being able to trust life, the process, and the people around you, can help you overcome challenges and the need to be vigilant.  

2. Slow Down

Why are we moving so fast? 

Slowing down is more of a mindset, energy, and perspective. Sometimes patience is a process of allowing things to happen at their own pace and to be as they are.

The opposite of patience is forcing, speeding, and rushing through things. If we can slow down, we can create more space that allows us to be more patient.

3. Allow Things to Unfold

There is real power in pausing, even if for an extra second or two. Take a pause. Let things breathe. Allow things to flow. Trust that things are manifesting and unfolding as they’re meant to…give them enough space to do so.

4. Let Go of Control

Life is like rowing a boat. Many of us are rowing our boats upstream and wondering why we’re not moving. Sometimes instead of fighting to row harder against the current, we can simply just let go of the oars. 

This is all about allowing things to happen and going with the flow. What if we just let the current of the water take us? 

Doing this requires trust, slowing down, being patient, and trusting the process. Sometimes in life, we try to control things instead of letting them be. We have the ability to go with the flow and trust that we will eventually get where we need to go.

5. Remember That Whatever You’re Going Through Will Pass

Things have a way of working themselves out. 

We all go through struggles. Bad, painful, and challenging things happen to everyone in the world. But each of us have made it through 100% of the challenges we’ve ever faced up to this point in life.  If we’re still here, nothing has taken us out completely up to this point – even things we thought would. 

Try this exercise: when you’re going through something challenging, it can be helpful to list some of the most difficult things you’ve been through in your life. This can help remind us that we’ve been through a lot, overcome a lot, and learned a lot. You may have thought that you weren’t going to get through some of the things on the list – but you did. And usually, those are the most important lessons in our lives. 

Remember: this too shall pass. 

When facing a difficult challenge, ask yourself the following questions: 

What good is here that I can’t see? 

How might I be able to benefit from this? 

Why is this happening for me? 

These mindsets and approaches can help us be more patient when things aren’t going the way we want them to and they allow us to tap into the power of patience more broadly.

 

Where can you practice the power of patience in your life right now? Where do you see yourself being impatient? How can you bring more patience into your life?  Feel free to leave your thoughts and ideas in the comments below.

Mike Robbins is the author of five books, including his latest, We’re All in This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging. He’s a thought leader and sought-after speaker whose clients include Google, Wells Fargo, Microsoft, Schwab, eBay, Genentech, the Oakland A’s, and many others.

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