You Have More Than This Requires

April 14, 2011

I had a powerful conversation recently with my good friend Theo.  I was telling him about some of the intense challenges I’ve been facing and my underlying fear that I simply can’t handle all that is going on (and what I fear may unfold in the coming days, weeks, and months).  Theo listened to me with empathy and compassion, and then said something simple, but profound. He said, “Mike, it’s important to remember that you have more than all of this requires.”

As I took a step back and allowed what he said to resonate with me, I was touched by a few specific things.  First of all, I appreciated his acknowledgment and reminder.  Second of all, it allowed me to take inventory of some of the adversity I’ve overcome in my life, and, in doing so, it reminded me that I am quite resilient.  And, finally, over the next few hours and days after Theo and I had this conversation, I got to thinking more and more about the power of the human spirit.

In just about every situation and circumstance in life, we really do have more than is required to not only “deal” with what’s happening, but to thrive in the face of it. As the saying goes, “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.” And while I don’t believe that we have to necessarily suffer and struggle in order to grow and evolve in life, one of the best things we can do when dealing with adversity or challenge is to look for the gifts and find the gold in the situation as much as possible.

Think about how this plays out in your own life and how it has played out in your past.  Often we have things happen that initially we don’t think we can handle – sometimes these are things we consider “bad” and sometimes they’re things we consider to be “good.”   Feeling overwhelmed is feeling overwhelmed, regardless of what it is we’re feeling overwhelmed about.

However, as we look back over the course of our lives, we can probably find many, many examples of times we were able to overcome challenges, deal with fear, rise above limiting beliefs, and deal with things we didn’t initially think we were capable of.  Another great saying that I love is, “circumstances don’t define you, they reveal you.”  Ain’t that the truth?

Here are a few things to think about and do so that you can remind yourself, especially when things get particularly difficult or scary in your life, that you do, in fact, have more than the circumstances or situations of your life require.

  • Remind yourself of all you’ve done, experienced, and overcome. Take some inventory of your life from the perspective of resilience.  Think about all the times you’ve dealt with change, loss, newness, fear, pain, disappointment, failure, etc. – and been able to work through it.  You’ve also probably had many experiences in life where wonderful things and exciting opportunities showed up for you and you were able to step up and take your experience of life to a whole new level. Even though we’re all unique, our stories are different, and we have varying personalities and life experiences, most of us have done, experienced, and overcome a lot in our lives up to this point, and by remembering this and acknowledging ourselves for it, we can create an even deeper and more authentic sense of self confidence.
  • Remember that you have a great deal of support and you can reach out for it.  One of the things that can get in our way when life gets intense, is that we sometimes think we’re all alone. No one understands me.  No one really cares about me. No one has time to support me.  Regardless of our circumstances, relationship status, or family situation, just about everyone of us has some important and powerful people around us who we can lean on and who would be happy to help us – if we’re willing to ask for and, more importantly, receive their help.  This one can be tricky for many of us, myself included, but when we remember that other people love being of service and our request for help is not a sign a weakness, but a clear indication of self care as well as a beautiful opportunity for people to serve, it can empower us to reach out and tap into the incredible amount of resource we have around us.
  • Focus on what you appreciate about yourself and your authentic power. Self appreciation and self love, as I write and speak about often, are the cornerstones of self confidence and authentic power. Having a fundamental belief in our own goodness, power, and beauty are essential to us living an empowered and inspired life.  While it’s not always easy to do and can sometimes seem downright counter-intuitive, selfish, and arrogant, self appreciation is truly the “key to the kingdom” when it comes to personal empowerment and resiliency.  Remembering that we are good enough just as we are and have all that we need within us and around us to deal with the stress, challenge, and uncertainty that is somewhat inherent to being human in today’s world, is essential to our well-being and overall fulfillment in life.

Regardless of what you’re dealing with in your life right now – however hard, easy, challenging, or wonderful things are – you truly have more than is required by any of the circumstances and situations of your life.  And, the more we remember this and live from this perspective, the more freedom, power, and peace of mind we’ll experience.

What can you do to remind yourself that you have more than the circumstances of your life require? Share your ideas, commitments, thoughts, dreams, and more on my blog below.

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  1. This past year I lost my husband to cancer. A year like I have never experienced. I am now in Hawaii,one of our favorite vacation spots, to deal with another change in my life. You are so right I do have more then required to deal with this past year….God has blessed me in so many ways this past year, he has given me the more in my life then required to deal with my loss.

  2. BEAUTIFUL, Mike.
    I use all the ways you described, but LOVE this wonderful, much appreciated reminder.
    Sometimes it seems as though despite the decades of my inner work/clearing/shifting, what I’ve received is continued intense challenges!! Maybe it’s called stretching, but hey, I’d love a regenerative vacation of healthy relaxation, too! :-))
    …Counting joyful blessings, past and current, of which I have MANY, helps raise or reorient my mood, giving breathing space to keep on keeping on.
    Being outside in Nature, and walking my professional talk by noticing the Beauty and Healthy Spaces which surround me, and using the magnificent energy/blessings of Flower Essences are some more support methods.

    Alisa Rose

  3. Your messages always come at the right time! I am dealing with a relationship issue and I got inspiration (as always) from your words. Thank you!

  4. We all give away our power way too easily. Why is this? We are either busy making excuses or thinking we can’t do something. You are definitely right in saying, “you truly have more than is required by any of the circumstances and situations of your life.” Keep it simple and embrace it!!

  5. Hi Mike,
    Thank you. This is exactly what I neeeded to read today. Usually my laughter meditation practice of almost 30 years is enough but with my current challenge of pain in my body, I needed something extra.
    Your words reminded me that the wisdom of my body and my support system will help me resolve this.Wishing you love, laughter and many blessings,
    Pragito Dove(across the Bay from you in Marin).

  6. My friend Julie on FB suggested I look at your website. I don’t often look at myself as a very empowered person but your suggestion here: “remind yourself of all you’ve done, experienced, and overcome” made me stop and think about all the adversity I have overcome; all the things I have done in my life and the many experiences I have had. When I do this with the right attitude, I can see that those things that one generally overlooks are my personal point of strength. By not giving in or giving up on my own emotional survival I believe I have, hidden inside me, the tools to continue ( more than is required) to do what I have left to accomplish. I simply need to learn to use it.

  7. I came across your website/blog while recently working on post for my own blog on stepping out of my box. Wow! Then to read your recent message here about believing we have more than is required. For the first time in my life I truly believe those words. My husband at the age of 41 decided to enlist in the Army Reserves and was gone for 6 months of training. During this same time my oldest son also enlisted in the Navy. Immediately I became an Army Wife and Navy Mom and found myself with no option but to believe I had the strength to handle this seperation from two of the people that mean the most to me. My husbands desire to pursue a passion, has inspired me to do the same. It has shown my that I have an inner strength and so much more to offer, “more than is required.” THANK YOU for your inspiring messages.

  8. Mike, this is exactly what I need today – while facing a new challenge, looking with the eyes of a great chance at it!
    thanks for sharing –

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