Finding it difficult to stay positive these days?
You’re not alone. For many people, myself included, the stress of life today and all we’ve been through in recent years, makes it all too easy to fall back into a “doom and gloom” outlook on the world around us. Unfortunately, that negativity doesn’t only harm ourselves—but it has an impact on our our families, our relationships, our teams, our companies, and our communities, too.
Given all that is going and that we have to contend with on a daily basis these days, how can we stay positive in a genuine way? While there’s no quick fix or magic formula, there are three things I believe we can do to help us stay positive in our most difficult moments.
#1 – Be Honest
Whenever we’re facing challenges, obstacles, or difficult circumstances, it’s important for us to be honest about how we truly feel. The most common feelings that we experience at these times are anger, fear, and shame. We feel angry that something bad has happened, and we feel afraid that the circumstances may remain challenging or even get worse. We can also feel ashamed that we’ve ended up in the situation in the first place.
Needless to say, these emotions are ones we often don’t like to admit, feel, or express. However, like all emotions, when we acknowledge them, own them, and express them they have a way of dissipating. In the process, we can free ourselves from their negative impact, so we can retain a more positive outlook on the world around us.
#2 – Be Conscious
In order to stay positive, it’s important for us to be conscious of what we’re thinking, feeling, and saying in the given moment. Without judgment, see if you can be aware of everything that is going on within you and how you’re reacting to what’s happening.
In the midst of stress and adversity, we have a tendency to think, say, and do things that don’t actually make the situation better. In some cases, those actions make things a whole lot worse. Think about it: we complain, we worry, we speak negatively about life, others, and ourselves. Maybe we binge watch shows, scroll for hours on our phone, overeat, drink too much, or we do various other things that don’t serve us.
Ultimately, the more conscious we can be about our feelings, thoughts, words, and actions, the more likely we’ll be able to stay positive. More importantly, when we’re mindful, we’re better able to learn and grow from whatever adversity we may be facing.
#3 – Be Grateful
It may seem counter-intuitive to be grateful in the face of challenges However, these moments are usually the most important times to focus on what we appreciate about ourselves, others, and life in general.
When things don’t go the way we want them to, we can stay positive by taking inventory of the good stuff in our lives. Adversity can remind us that while things may be tough, we have so many blessings. Think about your health, your job, your home, and all the people who love you.
We may even find that there are things we can appreciate about adversity. For example, we may realize we’re stronger than we thought we were or we have more support around us than we fully appreciated. Difficulties can also teach us some important lessons about ourselves and life.
Take some time right now to think about some of the things that fill you with gratitude. It’s common to not pay much attention to these things as we rush through our lives, so don’t be afraid to use difficult moments as an opportunity to reflect, even if it may be hard to do so. There is always a lot for us to be grateful for, as long as we choose to pay attention to it.
Stay Positive: Remember, This Too Shall Pass
It’s important to take the time to recognize the impact that our difficulties have on us. We don’t want to minimize or trivialize challenges. At the same time, though, we don’t want to let these difficulties hold us back from living our lives.
It’s possible for us to remain open, optimistic, and positive in the face of any and all difficulty and uncertainty. This doesn’t mean we have to be superhuman, or that we aren’t allowed to feel anything less than happy. It does mean, however, that we choose to be honest, conscious, and grateful in the midst of what’s going on. And, if we choose to do so, we can have this be a time of reflection, rejuvenation, and transformation for us and those around us.
Be kind to yourself as you make your way through this process and see if you can be present in as many moments as possible. And, when in doubt, remember that this too shall pass.
How do you stay positive? Share your thoughts, tips, and examples in the comments below!
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Great Article and sound principles. I have forwarded to my friends.
Hi Mike,
You are so right. Too many people are borrowing worry and fretting about what may come, losing their jobs, reduction in pay, loss of home or health insurance. It is important to be as prepared as you can for crises situations, however in the midst of “potential” bad times, we forget to appreciate and relish in the now and the fact that we are still working at full pay, we have health insurance, we are making the mortgage, have families that loves us and good people like you to remind us of just that ! Thanks again- DZ
Hello Mike,
I wanted to share with something that has come up with me with the great losses in my 401K money recently. I don’t make a lot of money, but have always been blessed to make enough to share with groups that I believe in. When I found that my retirement fund was going South, I could not resist the impulse to sit at the computer and send More money out that ever before. Somehow, I feel freed up, am not worried about what will come and Love that what I have can be spread around.
Good, good work that you are doing.
Cheryl
Mike,
I am sitting at my desk looking out at an absolutely awesome sunrise and thinking how lucky I am to be able to see this. A co-worker was at my desk enjoying this with me. I feel very fortunate to be able to work and see this wonderful display of God’s handiwork. It puts the 401K loss in a different perspective. Sure, I’d like to have the money back but God is still there for me and I will focus on the beauty and not the ugliness. Also, a friend’s brother just found out he has cancer and not long to live. How can anything be worse than that? Thank you for your columns and reminding us of what is really important. Friends, family and faith. All the rest takes a backseat.
I think it is true that in harder times, keeping focused on what is good is even harder, but heres the pearl in that, if you can stay focused and happy despite all the worries and concerns around you then you will make greater growth as a human being, it is like meditating in the middle of Times Square hard yes but what an impact on your consciousness if you can do it. And we are at a crucial point in humanity when the message of appreciation has to sink in, or else it will get harder, so do the work appreciate the moment and the beauty of it, NOW is all there is. I have kept a gratitude journal for a year and a half and wow has my outlook on the world and life changed. Cant wait to hear you again Mike at our company!
Your style is very unique compared to other people I have read stuff from.
Many thanks for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I’ll just bookmark this
blog.
What triggers your emotional reaction to an event is the way that you perceive the event, or what you say to yourself about yourself in relation to it, rather than the event itself. A simple shift in your perspective about the importance or meaning of a particular event, or a shift in your belief about your capacity to cope with it positively, can change your focus and your emotional reality. Nothing changes except the way that you perceive yourself, interpret the event, or view your capacity to cope with it, yet that simple positive change in focus can give you inner strength and confidence, release you from stress, and free you to live, perform, and contribute more joyfully. You can choose the perspective that you carry into your daily life and your performances.
Reading this in 2020, with the pandemic it’s still reassuring.
Grateful for what you put out Mike.