Mike Robbins

Infusing Life and Business with Authenticity and Appreciation

reflection

Remember How Precious Life Is

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I was deeply saddened to learn about the recent death of Hall of Fame baseball player Tony Gwynn.  Tony was a star for the San Diego Padres in the 1980s and 1990s.  In addition to being an incredibly talented and accomplished athlete, he had an infectious smile and personality.  I didn’t know Tony personally, but he was always someone I respected and admired – both for his skill and for the type of human being he seemed to be.

Given who he was and how he went about things, he seemed almost larger than life in many ways.  Hearing about his death shocked me.  It also had me pause and reflect on the precious nature of life, as I often do when I’m touched by someone’s passing.  In this week’s video blog, I talk about the preciousness of life and how we can live with more conscious awareness of it.

Check out the video below and feel free to leave a comment here on my blog about it.  You can share thoughts, questions, ideas, insights, or anything else that this video inspires.

New Year, Be You

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With the New Year still in its first few weeks, the annual “new year, new you” phenomenon is all around us – in the worlds of advertising, media, self-help and more.  And while this time of year can be a great catalyst for positive change in our lives, what if we made a commitment to live our lives in 2011 focused on who we are, and not so much on what we do, what we accomplish, what we look like, what we’re striving for, and more?   One of best things we can do in this New Year is to focus on who we really are, instead of who we think we’re supposed to be.

Who would we be without our accomplishments (or failures), our degrees (or lack thereof), our bank accounts, our experiences, our title, our home, our status, and more?  As simple of a concept as this is for us to think about and discuss, at least on the surface, it’s actually quite difficult for many of us, myself included, to genuinely separate who we are from what we do (or have done or not done).  These past two years have taught many of us, in some cases quite painfully, how quickly the external circumstances of our lives can change dramatically and things can be taken away.

The deeper question for us to ponder here is really one of the big philosophical questions of life, “What makes me a valuable person?”  While this is something we have all thought about to some degree, most of us don’t really engage in this inquiry on a regular basis.  And, when we do, we often think that if we just got more done, lost some weight, made more money, took a vacation, accomplished a goal, had more meaningful work, made it to retirement, or whatever, then we’d be “happier” or feel more “valuable.”  Sadly, as we’ve all experienced, this is not usually the case and is also one of the main reasons why most of our New Year’s “resolutions” don’t really last.

What if, in addition to having important goals, we could also expand our capacity for appreciating ourselves and being who we really are this year – having nothing to do with our external circumstances?  What if just being ourselves, the way we are right now, is good enough?

Being ourselves fully, takes courage, commitment, and faith.  It’s a process of letting go of many false beliefs we’ve picked up from the collective consciousness – that we have to look good, be smart, know the right people, say the right things, have the proper experience, make a certain amount of money, and more, in order to be happy and successful in life. Being ourselves can be scary and counter intuitive, difficult and even off-putting, and, at times, lonely.

However, being our authentic self is liberating, exciting, and fulfilling.   When we have the courage to just be who we are, without apology or pretence, so much of our suffering, stress, and worry in life simply goes away.

Here are a few things to consider and practice as you deepen your awareness of and capacity for being who you truly are in this New Year:

  • Tell the truth to yourself. Think about and own how much of your self-worth is based on what you do, how you look, who you know, what you’ve accomplished, etc. (i.e. the external stuff).  The more we let go of being defined by the external, the more freedom, peace, and power we can experience.  And, as we really get honest with ourselves, we may realize that outside of these external things, we don’t really know who we are.  As scary as this may seem on the surface, it’s actually great news and can give us access to a deeper and more meaningful experience of who we are.
  • Appreciate who you really are. What do you appreciate about yourself that has nothing to do with anything external?  In other words, what personal qualities (of being, not doing) do you value about yourself?  The more we’re able to tap into what we appreciate about who we are (not what we do), the more capacity we have for real confidence, peace, and self love.
  • Practice just being you. As silly as it may sound, we all need to “practice” being ourselves.  We have a great deal of experience being phony or being how we think we’re supposed to be.  It actually takes conscious practice for us to be able to just show up and be who we are.  We can practice alone, with people we know, and with total strangers.  This is all about awareness – paying attention to how we feel, what we’re thinking, what we say, and how we show up.  It’s not about getting it right or doing anything specific, it’s about letting go of our erroneous notions of how we think we’re supposed to be, and just allowing ourselves to be who and how we are in the moment.

Have fun with this, talk to others about it, and have a lot of compassion with yourself as you practice – this is big stuff for most of us.  This year, instead of trying to be a “new” you, just be yourself and see what happens.

How can you accept, appreciate, and simply BE yourself in 2011?  What does this mean to you?  What support do you need in your life this year to step more fully into who you really are?  Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, actions, and more on my blog below.

Completing the Year with Power

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These few days before the new year begins have a magical and sacred quality to them. I appreciate the lull in activity that often takes place this week and the opportunity we have to reflect back on the year that is ending, as well as to create new possibilities and intentions for the year that’s about to start. It often seems more exciting to focus on our “resolutions” for the new year. However, before we jump ahead and start making our goals for next year, it’s essential that we complete the year that is about to end with power and appreciation.

As much as I personally love this completion process, I usually have mixed emotions reflecting back on the year. There is excitement, gratitude, and joy for all of the wonderful accomplishments, experiences, insights, and more. There is also sadness, disappointment, and sorrow over the things that I didn’t accomplish, the people and things I’ll miss, and the places in my life where I failed. This is as true as ever as 2009 comes to a close. This past year I’ve experienced some of the highest highs and lowest lows of my life. I’m truly grateful for all that I’ve learned and experienced this year. And, while I have lots to appreciate from this past year, I also am glad to see it end! More than most years in recent memory, this one did not turn out anything like I thought it would twelve months ago. How about for you?

Due to the common mixture of emotions we experience and especially with a year like 2009 which created a lot of growth opportunities (to put it mildly) for most of us, it’s essential that we embrace and practice the art of completion. Completion is a conscious process we engage in whereby we do and say whatever we need to in order to create a true sense of closure to an experience (in this case, the year that is about to end). Because we often have resistance to authentically celebrating and appreciating ourselves, reflecting honestly on our accomplishments or our failures, acknowledging our real results or lack thereof, grieving loss with depth, and more – we usually just roll through the end of things and either avoid completion all together or move onto the next thing as fast as we can. When we do this, however, we miss out on a sacred and important process.

Completion allows us to bring things to a close with a sense of gratitude, authenticity, and peace. When we allow ourselves to experience a sense of true completion, we move into the next phase bringing with us the gifts, lessons, accomplishments, experiences, and more from what we’ve just been through. When we don’t take the time to truly complete something, we end up carrying baggage, regrets, fear, and unresolved issues into our next experience. These things don’t serve us and often end up undermining our success and fulfillment.

As we get ready for 2010 and begin to think specifically about what we want to create and experience in this new year, one of the most important things we can do is to complete 2009 in an authentic and powerful way.

Completion Questions

Here are some questions you can ask and answer yourself, as a way to create a sense of completion for 2009:

  • What were my biggest lessons in 2009?
  • What am I most proud of from this past year?
  • What were my biggest disappointments in 2009?
  • What am I ready to let go of from this past year?
  • What else do I need to do or say to be totally complete with 2009?

As you take some time to think about and write down your answers to these questions, see if you can reflect on this past year with a sense of appreciation and empathy. The word “appreciate” means to recognize the value of (not necessarily like, agree with, or want to experience again). Whether your year was “wonderful,” “terrible,” or somewhere in between – we each have so much we can appreciate about this past year. And, it’s important for us to have as much empathy as we possibly can for ourselves, especially right now. If you’re anything like me, you probably had some big failures or disappointments this past year. When we can remember that we almost always do the best we can with what we have in each moment of our lives, we can hopefully let go of our feelings of shame, guilt, or embarrassment over any of the things that didn’t go as planned for us in 2009.

See if you can create some sacred time in the next few days to share your answers to these completion questions with some of the important people in your life (and maybe ask them to answer these questions as well). By creating a conscious intention for completion, you will give yourself the gift of appreciation for this past year and in so doing, allow a space to open up in which you can create your goals and intentions for 2010 with a sense of peace, power, and clarity. And, as you ponder these questions, you may realize that there is something important you need to do or say in order to leave 2009 behind and step into 2010 with freedom and peace.

Have fun with this. And, congratulations on completing another year of this magical, bizarre, wonderful, and funny adventure we call life – what a ride!