Mike Robbins

Infusing Life and Business with Authenticity and Appreciation

Men

How Men Can Support Women and Empower Female Leadership

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Like millions of people around the world, I was deeply moved and inspired by the recent speech Oprah Winfrey gave at the Golden Globe awards.  If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend checking out the video.

Oprah touched on, among other things, the cultural moment we’re in right now with respect to sexual harassment and gender equality.  Over the past few months, I’ve been reflecting on my own thoughts, beliefs, words, and actions, and challenging myself to be even more aware, understanding, and inclusive.  I’ve also been trying to figure out what I can do as a man to advocate for and support women – those whom I know personally and in our society at large.

Issues of gender inequality run deep in our country and our world.  And while we’ve made a lot of progress, we clearly have more work to do.  There are also layers of complexity and emotion to this issue that make it tricky, especially for us men, to fully understand and to address openly and effectively.

On this week’s episode of my podcast, I interviewed Will Marre, co-founder of the Covey Leadership Institute, who recently founded an organization called A Million SMART Women.  He’s worked for the past thirty years creating breakthroughs at some the world’s top organizations including, Johnson & Johnson, Nike and Gap. He’s a thought-leader and trusted advisor on corporate transformation and the competitive advantage of female leaders.

Will and I talked about some of the dynamics of gender issues in today’s business world, how men can advocate for and support women in leadership, and how we can all remember that we’re in this together.

Some of the key things men can do to support women and empower female leadership are:

1)  Listen.  Listening is always important – it’s the key to communication and fundamental to connection.  Now more than ever, it’s important for us men to really listen to women, hear their stories, and try to understand their experience at a deeper level.  When we open our minds and our hearts to the experiences of others with curiosity and compassion, not only do we learn, but we make it safer for them to speak up and more likely that we can find common ground.

2)  Advocate.  Research shows that when women advocate for others in business it’s seen as a positive quality, but when they advocate for themselves it’s seen as a negative one.  However, when men advocate for themselves, it’s seen much more positively.  We all need advocates if we’re going to succeed and move forward in our careers.  Given many of the gender-based double standards that still exist, male advocacy for female leadership is essential and valuable.

3)  Engage.  Thinking about and talking about gender can be challenging for us men for two main reasons.  First of all, we aren’t always paying attention to it.  Second of all, we worry that if we do engage about gender, we’ll say something wrong, offend some of the women around us, or be seen as sexist.  Because of these things (and others), we sometimes shy away from doing or saying anything about gender at all.  Even though we may be uncomfortable, it’s important for us to engage and to remember that gender equality and the empowerment of female leadership is not just a women’s issue, it’s a human issue that impacts all of us.

What can you do to create an environment that is as safe, open, and inclusive as possible?  What can you do to support and empower female leadership?  Share your thoughts below in the comments section here on my blog and/or join the conversation we’re having about this on my Bring Your Whole Self to Work podcast.

Men…We Have to Do Better

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Hearing the news about Matt Lauer being fired by NBC for inappropriate sexual behavior made me feel sad, angry, and confused in many ways. Over the past few months with everything that came out about Harvey Weinstein, the #MeToo campaign that exploded on social media, and the men who have been singled out for their harassment, abuse, and even assault of women like Charlie Rose, Roy Moore, Al Franken, Louis CK, Matt Lauer, and many others…in addition to the prominent stories over the past year or two about Bill Cosby, Roger Ailes, Bill O’Reilly, Donald Trump, and even going back to Clarence Thomas, Bill Clinton, and others from many years ago…it has been overwhelming, disgusting, and hard to understand for me.

I thought I was aware of some of the issues and challenges women face both in the workplace and in our culture, but these past few months have taught me that I really have no idea. I’ve been with my wife Michelle for 17 years, we have two daughters who are 11 and 9, I was raised by a strong single mom and in a house with a strong older sister. I interact with women personally and professionally every day…doing the best I can to respect and honor them as women and as fellow, equal human beings.

And, as all of this has been unfolding in the media and our culture over the past few months (and over the past year or two), I’ve been trying to pay more attention to my own male entitlement and some of the unconscious gender bias I have…especially as a straight, white, man who has so much privilege on so many levels. It’s hard for me to see this and is also painful to fully acknowledge.

Additionally, I have spent time thinking about some situations, relationships, and interactions I’ve had with girls and women in my life since I was an adolescent. Although I don’t think I’ve done or said things that would fall into the category of harassment, abuse, and especially not assault, there are definitely a few situations from college and my early twenties that I regret.  I’m also sure I’ve made a whole host of comments over the course of my life that I may have thought were “funny” or “benign,” which probably hurt, offended, or scared some of the girls or women around me.

The word “reckoning” has been used quite a bit in recent weeks and months to describe what is happening in our culture with respect to how women are treated by men. I think that is definitely something that is going on. I’m finding it incredibly painful and difficult to see…but I think it’s important on so many levels that it is coming out.

I notice that it’s often harder for me to process and make sense of some of what I read and hear about when the men involved are ones whose work and talents I like, respect, and admire – like Bill Cosby, Louis CK, Kevin Spacey, John Conyers, Charlie Rose, Al Franken, and now Matt Lauer. When it’s people like Bill O’Reilly, Roger Ailes, Roy Moore, and Donald Trump…whom I don’t like, respect, or admire…my feelings are, unfortunately, a bit different.

I wish this weren’t the case, although I recognize this is part of being human and also part of the divided and polarized world in which we currently live. Clearly, however, we’re seeing that harassment and abuse of women is something that cuts across all political, social, business, racial, status, and economic lines. And, for all of these high-profile stories we’re reading about on a regular basis, there must be literally millions of other stories like these happening all over the country and the world – in workplaces and everywhere.

Men – we have to do better! We have to look at ourselves in the mirror and at each other as brothers and ask what it truly means to be a good, strong man in our culture. How do we honor the positions of privilege, power, and influence some of us find ourselves in specifically and most of us men hold within our families, places of business, and communities? How can we take our support and respect of the women and girls around us to a deeper and more real level? It’s truly a time reckoning – not simply for the victims of abuse and those who perpetrate it, but for all of us as a society and especially for us men.

Even with all of this, I believe that the vast majority of us men are not preying on women and abusing our power…there are a lot of good, kind, caring, aware men in the world. And at the same time, we all have work to do and blind spots to pay attention to. I know this post itself is filled with my own bias and many blind spots (most of which I can’t even see).

We also have to do more listening and to have more awareness, empathy, and curiosity…to pay more attention to what life and work are like for the girls and women around us.

I want our girls – the ones growing up in my house and the ones growing up throughout our world, as well as all women – to know they are safe, loved, supported, respected, celebrated, and honored for who they are, what they do, and the talents they have – not just as sex objects and for the pleasure of us men.