Many of us have a love/hate relationship with the holidays—myself included. While Thanksgiving is meant to be a meaningful celebration of gratitude, appreciation, and family connection, those sentiments often get lost in a sea of stress, grief, obligation, disappointment, and/or messy family drama.
If you’re like me and many people I know, it can be easy to get stressed out, upset, and frustrated at this time of year, especially these days. But what if we could make Thanksgiving more fun? What if we focused on being who we are, appreciating our loved ones, being real about how we feel, and expressing our gratitude in a genuine way?
Here are five things we can do to have a positive Thanksgiving experience this year:
1. Be Yourself
It’s often easier said than done to be ourselves, especially around those we gather with at the holidays. And yet, this Thanksgiving, let’s try to set aside all the thoughts about who we should be and how we should act around our family, friends, in-laws, and guests. Instead, let’s try to focus on just being who we truly are.
All too often, we lose ourselves in our desire to impress or not offend people. However, when we let go of our people-pleasing tendencies, we release all sorts of undue pressure. In its place, we find a real sense of freedom and peace.
2. Look for the Good
This Thanksgiving, let’s work to let go of our grudges, judgements, and resentments. Set aside the obsessive thoughts centering on the most annoying and upsetting qualities in our friends and family. Make a commitment to focus on what you like about the people around you, rather than what you don’t.
By making a conscious decision to enjoy ourselves as well as the people around us, we dramatically increase our chances of having a positive and pleasant experience.
3. Keep it Fun
The holidays are actually supposed to be enjoyable. So, this year, so whatever you can to make the Thanksgiving experience as fun and stress-free as possible.
Keep it light. Don’t take things personally. Share the responsibilities. Ask others for help. Prepare in advance to reduce the stress. And, most of all, open yourself up to going with the flow and enjoying the day.
4. Express Appreciation
This Thanksgiving, let the people in your life know how much they matter to you. Take the time to share your appreciation with them in a genuine way. Here are some tips to make it happen:
- Write thank-you cards and bring them to your gathering.
- Acknowledge someone special at the dinner table. Then, invite them to “pay it forward” by sharing their appreciation for someone else in the group. Keep it going until everyone’s had their turn in the spotlight.
- Call up a friend. Talk to a family member. Send a text or write an email. Whatever it takes to let people know what you appreciate about them.
Remember, appreciating someone doesn’t mean we agree with them about everything or we don’t have any issues with them, it means we choose to focus on their value and what we’re grateful for by having them in our lives.
5. Count Your Blessings
Amidst all of the holiday chaos, stress, and everything happening in the country and the world, it can be easy to lose sight of the intention of why we’re gathering in the first place. This holiday isn’t about the meal or the details—it’s about gratitude, connection, and reflection.
So, this Thanksgiving, take some time to think about all the blessings in your life. Focus on the things you appreciate about yourself as well as those around you. If you’re stretched for time, consider bringing this idea to the dinner table. During the meal, ask everyone to share what they’re grateful for in a genuine, specific, and personal way.
Being grateful doesn’t mean everything’s great, that there aren’t any challenges, that our families don’t have issues, or that there aren’t real problems in our country and our world. Gratitude is a powerful energy and emotion, and when we step into it authentically, it allows us to remember that no matter what may be going on with us, those around us, and in the larger world, there is always so much to appreciate…if we choose to do so.
What are your Thanksgiving plans this year? Are you willing to do what it takes to make it a fun, meaningful, and positive experience? How do you plan to make it happen? Share your thoughts, ideas, and insights on my blog below.
Here are some more blog posts that might interest you:
Let’s Have Thanksgiving All The Time
3 Ways to Stay Positive
Want What You Have
Karla says
Thanks so much for this reminder of what Thanksgiving is all about. I really love to cook traditional Thanksgiving food yet feel obligated to invite all my family as well. This year, I called and invited one brother’s family a couple days after I had invited the other brother’s family, which upset him; therefore, he and all nine family members will not be joining us. I felt really awful for over a week, but also realize it sure will be a lot less work. I never get to enjoy the day since I don’t get help from most of the family with food prep or clean up. I’ve allowed it to stir up resentment and just really ruin my day. Not this year though. I will focus on the good stuff, appreciate all my other guests any way I can. I’ll keep the day positive. Thanks.
Helga Prangl says
Hi Mike: How nice of you to think of us this busy Holiday week! Although I did not grow up with Thanksgiving, I have always been greatful for the many friends and their families that invited me Thanksgiving and appreciated the hospitality (especially to an “imiigrant”) and opportunity to share the true American spirit.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Helga Prangl
KC Anderson says
Mike:
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.
I really enjoyed the article, thanking those around us and reflecting on our blessings for the year is so important to our sole and those around us. But there is a but and that’s I thank people in my own way not during a group stand up and annoucement at the table. It puts everyone on the spot and doesn’t allow those who thank others in a private quiet way that ability. Some of us don’t need to be in the spot light to still be good people who care deeply.
Take Care
KCA
steve frank says
Another great post, Mike. Thanks. #1 is so spot on. When we’re not true to ourselves it’s almost impossible to be truly happy and enjoy what we’re doing. It’s amazing how much fun we can have when we’re being authentic…
Your “pay it forward” in the moment gratitude at the table is awesome. I’ll be bringing that new tradition to our table this year.
Thanks. Make it a great thanksgiving holiday.