In today’s solo episode, we pull the cover off a “dirty word” almost all of us, myself included, try so hard to avoid — disappointment. I talk about what happens when we avoid it, how to recognize it and move through it, and what to do when someone or something disappoints us — or even worse — we disappoint others. Authentically feeling disappointed can actually allow us to unlock greater success and fulfillment.
[4:59] A recent session with my coach Eleanor brought up some truths about why I was engaging in certain habits that didn’t align with my highest and healthiest self. We got to the core of what I was avoiding — the feeling of disappointment.
[7:47] We tend to view emotions as “good” (joy, love, fulfillment) or “bad” (anger, fear, shame). The emotions aren’t actually positive or negative, it’s our ability to authentically feel them. There is power in expressing our emotions, and liberation on the other side. It’s often the withholding that is the most detrimental.
[10:42] Often times, we will create patterns and behaviors to avoid feeling vulnerable. Eating more than we need to or overdoing unhealthy foods can be one way to distract, but other behaviors can also manifest as procrastination, mindless scrolling on the internet or indulging in too much work.
[23:19] The emotions live inside us — it’s not always the external circumstances, people or events that rain the emotions upon us. I give some examples of how publishing my books led to the ups and downs of feeling excited and fulfilled, disappointed and then accepting.
[26:28] Think about the ways you are holding back, playing small or saying yes (or no) to things because you are afraid of disappointing yourself or those around you.
[28:26] Embrace the feeling of powerless. If we feel the emotion, we can dissipate it and move through it. The paradox is the resistance or avoidance is much more detrimental to the feeling itself.
[29:49] Trust that if you feel disappointed, it may hurt, but you will live and move on.