Blog Post

Ask For What You Want

Last weekend we were at a birthday party for a seven year old friend of ours in the neighborhood named Dylan. As we were leaving his party, Samantha (our 15 month old daughter) was motioning towards the balloons that were tied to the fence. She wanted one of the balloons. Kerry, our friend and Dylan’s mom, went inside and came out with a yellow balloon for Samantha. However, Samantha was not pleased and continued to motion passionately to the set of balloons connected to the fence. Kerry seemed a little confused and asked Samantha, “What’s wrong, is this one the wrong color?” Samantha answered in sign language (which my wife Michelle has been teaching her) with the sign for color. Then Kerry asked her, “What color balloon would you like sweetie?” Samantha made the sign for blue, which was the color of two of the balloons in the bunch connected to the fence. Kerry then went and took one of the blue balloons off of the fence and gave it to Samantha. Samantha laughed, smiled and was very happy. She got what she wanted and we were all amazed.
This example is wonderful. Of course, as a proud papa, I immediately thought to myself, “Wow, my daughter is a genius.” And while we were all very impressed and excited by Samantha’s use of sign language and her ability to communicate, on a deeper level the more powerful aspect of this story had to do with her asking for what she wanted, specifically, and getting it.

Samantha – looking for what she wants next

As todlers and young children, most of us are very comfortable (for better or worse) asking for what we want. Admittedly, some of the things we ask for and want we cannot have for a myriad of reasons. However, as we get older and become more “reasonable,” we make decisions about what we can and can’t ask for in life – from our parents, our friends, our co-workers, and people in general. By the time most of us are adults, many of us have a very hard time asking for what we want at all.

The problem is that the answer is always “NO” if we don’t ask. In other words, it’s very difficult to get what we want in life if we are too scared or uncomfortable to ask for it. Asking for what we want is not about being demanding, pushy, or selfish. It’s about making grown-up requests and taking responsibility for our lives and our desires.

Imagine if you could go through your life on a daily basis and not edit yourself as it relates to your requests. What if you felt comfortable to ask for exactly what you wanted all the time, and at the same time were not attached to the outcome. If each of us felt more comfortable and free with our requests and we actually made genuine requests of people (meaning that the other person could say “yes,” “no,” or make a “counter offer” without fear of repercussions) the world would be a very different place for us and those around us.

I know it can be scary and we can sometimes feel vulnerable putting ourselves out there, asking for what we want, and wondering if we are going to get turned down, hurt, or rejected. However, when we don’t ask for what we want, we set ourselves up for failure and disappointment. My challenge to you today is to make some bold requests – even if you feel uncomfortable. If you are willing to step through your fear, you may actually get exactly what you want – just like Samantha with the blue balloon.

Blessings,

Mike Robbins

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