Have you ever seen a small child learn how to walk? If you have, you know what a remarkable experience it is. I’d heard about this, but had never witnessed it first hand until Samantha, our (almost) five year old, took her first real steps when she was just over a year. She and I were playing in our family room one night and although she’d taken a step or two here and there, and could get around okay while holding onto an adult or a piece of furniture, she hadn’t really “walked” yet.
That night I was holding her hands and pulling her across the room with me, as she took some steps. I decided to let go to see what would happen. I did and she took a step or two and then fell down, face first, on the soft carpet. She was fine. She looked up at me and although she couldn’t speak, she made it very clear that she wanted me to pick her up so she could try again. I did and this time when I let go she took about four or five real steps and then fell down. I screamed, “You did it!”, started clapping wildly, and yelling for my wife Michelle to come into the room.
Michelle came running in. Samantha and I went to the far end of our family room. I held her hands to steady her, started walking with her across the floor, let go, and then it happened – she really walked – all the way across the room, by herself. When she fell down, Michelle and I were so elated and moved, we both burst into tears and joyous laughter at the same time. Samantha, so proud of herself, began to shriek with excitement and to clap her hands as she was lying there on the floor. And, of course, she wanted to get back up and go again.
We all know how to do this – fall down and get back up. Assuming we know how to walk, which most of us are fortunate enough to be able to do, we went through this specific and miraculous experience ourselves when we were very small. We’ve also gone through it in a figurative sense many other times as we move through the ups and downs of life. The question isn’t whether or not we’ll fall down; the question is will we be bold enough to get back up again? Too often, sadly, we fall down and then decide we can’t get back up. Boldness is about having the courage, willingness, and commitment to get back up when we fall down – even if we’re scared or don’t think we can.
Resisting, complaining about, or even feeling sorry for ourselves about the “bad” things that happen is totally normal and what we’re often encouraged to do by people around us and our culture in general – whether we do it out loud with others or just in our heads. However, these things, while understandable, don’t address the real issues, the emotions we’re experiencing, or make things better for us. Facing difficulties in our life can actually be an incredibly rewarding and positive experience for us – if we choose to allow our challenges to be opportunities for growth.
Below is a list of some things to appreciate when we “fall down” in life. Obstacles, failures, and challenges can:
– Give us important feedback about where and who we are
– Provide an opportunity for us to be courageous
– Allow us to wake up and notice all the good things that are happening that we hadn’t been paying attention to
– Give us a great opportunity for learning, growth, and improvement
– Allow us to learn to appreciate ourselves, even when things don’t turn out exactly as we want them to
– Give us an opportunity to get in touch with, take responsibility for, and express our real emotions in an authentic way
– Challenge us to play bigger, make adjustments, or re-think our approach
By learning to see our challenges as opportunities, we take our power back from the situations, circumstances, and outcomes of our lives. Our ability to appreciate difficulties, learn from them, and use them to our advantage, gives us an important insight into who we really are and how to create success and fulfillment in a conscious, deliberate, and authentic way.
Being bold, going for what we want, and living with authenticity doesn’t in any way mean we won’t fail, struggle, or fall short. In fact, if we aren’t failing or facing any challenges at all, it’s probably a good indication that we aren’t playing all that big in our lives. It’s important for us to make peace with the fact that we will fall down many times throughout our journey. However, when we make a commitment to ourselves to get back up, dust ourselves off, be real about how we feel and what happened, and not let it stop us from being who we are and going for what we want -we tap into what true power, boldness, and authenticity are all about.
As Mark Twain reminds us in one of his many famous quotes, “Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth.”
Where in your life have you recently fallen down? Have you gotten back up yet? If so, great – acknowledge yourself. If not, what will it take for you to get back up, learn from the experience, and appreciate yourself in the process? Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, actions, and more on my blog below.
Thank you Mike – this really hit home this week. I really appreciate your articles – they are very empowering and thought provoking and most important – ENCOURAGING! Thank you!
Hi Mike
Great reminder. I really enjoy your ability to take great lessons from the simple things in life.
I learn a lot about getting myself up and brushing myself off from my granddaughter, Dakota. What I think makes it easier for babies and toddlers is that they they are oblivious to scrutiny and judgement. When Dakota was learning to control her hand enough to get an object to her mouth she had no concern about how she looked to others. She was only focused on the task. I would like to lose some of the self-consciousness I have acquired through the years.
Thank you for these weekly words of encouragement. This is a great reminder that we can always get back up even if we fall down. One of my favorite quotes about falling comes from Les Brown. I might be paraphrasing here – if you’re going to fall always fall facing up so you know you can get up.
I promise to always get up!
Thank you for your eloquent and inspiring words. It is absolutely true that often the best moments in our lives are born out of the days when we have stumbled, fallen and been bruised. Very often it is turmoil that brings growth, brings a certain depth to our spirits. We learn, through the hard times, that the Self is in fact far greater than all these happenings in our day to day experience. In this vein, I have been deeply moved by the narrative of author Michael Fischman. His memoir Stumbling Into Infinity was recently published and has been a source of such encouragement to me. Michael has been through incredible hardships. The son of a Holocaust survivor, as an adult he encountered a person who would transform his life completely. This person is Indian spiritual teacher Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Michael’s story is unforgettable – a story of falling down, stumbling, but getting back up with the sincerity and the devotion of a true seeker.
For more information about Michael’s story, you may like to visit http://www.stumblingintoinfinity.blogspot.com
Hello Mike! I’m glad I get your newsletters because I find peace and motivation in your words.
I relate a lot with this week topic because I recently had to face the end of a relationship and it has been very hard for me because I didn’t want it to end. Sometimes I feel so grateful with him because all of the things I experienced with him and all the grow that relationship brought to my life but other times I feel so angry at him because I wanted to move forward instead of breaking up. Even though I perfectly understand that you can not force anyone to love you, it is sometimes hard for me to “get back and let it go”.
I suppose I’m in the process of doing it and that takes time. I just try to remember to appreciate all the good things that came out of me while dating this guy and hoping that in the future I can live something even better. 🙂
Thanks for the great comments and feedback everyone – I appreciate you reading my articles and posting on my blog!
– Mike Robbins 🙂
Mike – thanks! I found this so inspiring and as I read this, it provided so much clarity and a positive perspective. The challenges we are faced with really are best embraced as seeing the challenges as opportunity – I know this, too – but today, this was exactly what I needed to read and be reminded of:) Thanks for the Big Encouraging Boost!!
Mike – thanks! This was exactly what I needed to hear today. As I read through this, it was a great reminder about embracing challenges as opportunity – I know this…needed a reminder today:)
Thanks for sharing this with such clarity and positive perspective.
I needed the Big Encouraging Boost!!