My wife Michelle and I recently went to see Glennon Melton speak about her new book, Carry On Warrior. Glennon is a blogger from Florida who has a very successful blog called Momastery.com. Her posts are read by tens of thousands of moms like Michelle (and others) around the world. I thought I was attending the event to support Glennon’s new book and to support Michelle (since she loves what Glennon does so much). And even though I was one of only a handful of men in the sea of a few hundred women at this event, I got so much out of it.
First of all, she’s a fantastic writer and speaker – funny, real, open, passionate, heartfelt, and inspiring. I was inspired both personally and professionally by her presence, her talent, her humility, her message and her vulnerability. Second of all, she kept talking about this idea that life is “Brutiful” (both brutal and beautiful at the same time). After hearing her speak and reading her book and some of her blog posts, I started thinking about this concept of “brutiful” quite a bit.
Then the tragedy in Boston happened. I began to watch what was unfolding and feel my own intense range of emotions – the brutiful nature of life was playing itself out in a big way right in front of our eyes. As awful as the bombings, shootings, and manhunt were (and still are), there was (and still is) so much bravery, beauty, connection, and love that has come out of everything that has happened; which is often the case when something horrible like this occurs.
While of course it’s much easier to contemplate this from afar and a completely different experience for those who were (and still are) directly impacted by the violence, I’ve been thinking more about some of the “brutal” and “beautiful” experiences of my own life and realizing that most of them have been (as most of life is) a combination of both.
My parents divorce, our financial challenges, my struggles with depression, my career ending baseball injury, the times I’ve had my heart broken in love, the deaths of my parents and some dear friends, and many other things I’ve experienced have been “brutal” in many ways – painful, sad, scary, and disappointing, among other things. However, at the same time, each of these “brutal” experiences have also been incredibly beautiful on many levels – lots of growth, healing, discovery, and insight. And, in addition to all that I’ve learned and gained personally from these experiences, they have also been (and continue to be) opportunities for me to connect with others and operate in life with a deeper sense of vulnerability, compassion, and openness.
There have also been lots of “beautiful” and wonderful things that have occurred in my life – getting into Stanford, playing pro baseball, marrying Michelle, having Samantha and Rosie, publishing my books, traveling to incredible places, and so much more. And, as great as these things have been – there have also been many “brutal” aspects of each of these same things.
There are times Michelle and I look at each other in the throes of a parenting breakdown and without even saying a word our eyes say to each other, “What were we thinking? This was a terrible idea.”
So if the most “brutal” experiences in life can also be “beautiful” and the most “beautiful” ones can also be “brutal” at times – I think Glennon is right when she says “Life is Brutiful.” And, when we remember this, embrace it, and live with this awareness – it can create a real sense of peace, freedom, and connection with who and what matters most to us!
Yes, indeed…Life is Brutiful… as I struggle whether or not to let go of my marriage after my husband’s infidelity in my own house, in our own bed..as I tend to my youngest son away from home.
Yes, indeed so many times, I ask myself — am I nuts or what? was that kick not strong enough to push me aside…
This is not a new concept or word. I created this word, and wrote on the concept. Infact, Mr. Robbins you have used common words and structure that was already in my written document. Please remove this blob post. https://www.inumc.org/news/detail/1916
Rev. Kevin Raidy, M.Div.
Kevin,
While I appreciate your comment and request, I am not going to remove this post. I was inspired by hearing Glennon speak a few weeks ago and use the word “brutiful.” She didn’t claim to have “invented” the word nor did I, and there is nothing in my post that in any way violates anything about you, your work, or anything else.
Be well…
Mike
Luna – thank you for your comments and your authenticity…sending you prayers and blessings as you navigate your current “brutiful” situation.
Mike,
that´s a great new insight or combination of what life creates and offers to us. Thanks for sharing this post!
I´ve had discussions once at work with people who even thought that being or acting a little brutal is okay or even “good” because it brings out something positive in the concerned people….
I thought it was crazy and selfish to think & act that way but this is what life “makes” of people; many give what they got (from others) and so this combination seems to go hand in hand.
So true Rita – thanks for your comments and insight.
Thank you so much for sharing from a Man’s point of view. Funny thing is, a magazine article on Glennon was read out loud in my woman’s bible study yesterday & we all requested a copy BECAUSE OF her use of “brutiful”.
O think your both on to something
Thanks Gena – yes, lots of us men love Glennon and what she writes about…and, she is definitely onto something with “brutiful.” Be well!
Ôð, Ѡтут ÃÂðр³Â°Ãýтøрую, чтþ ÿрõтõý÷øù Ñ Ã’ðшõù ÑÂтþрþýы ýõ ÿþÑÂтуÿðûþ. ßрþÑÂтþ ýõ ûюñûю тðúøõ ÑÂðùты, ýøчõóþ ûøчýþóþ!
Jo jeg er helt enig med deg ! Jeg trenger heller ingen gaver , har jo alt . Kanskje man heller kunne gjøre hverandre en tjeneste ? jeg skulle blitt glad hvis noen kunne vaske stuetaket mitt for eksempel. Synes julen bare har blitt penger og mas. Ha en fin kveld !
This is absolutely beautifully written – can you get this in Oprah magazine!Congratulations again on all of the wonderful words you write – you can truly feel your harmonious and inspiring intention.Your words really help to bring out the shine in everyone who reads them.Take lots of sparkling careJacqui
"So with this motley crew, where to focus?"Universal truths and indefeasible laws of nature?I know. Too airily dismissive of the complexity that is human nature. Damned human nature! I'm not through thinking though.
So true, however I always find solace in the saying ‘it’s a wonderful life’. The wonders can be brutal and or beautiful. The culmination being fulfilling no matter what, as you can grow and learn from whatever the events are, in our journey called life. We can choose defeat,and be full and fed up, or choose victory and be full of joy, believing that there is a silver lining. Everyday we gain a new testimony journal entry of our life’s journey. So i’ll use mine for this day to attest to how wonderful, brutiful, life is.
In a short time, my husband was diagnosed with end stage renal disease and in need of a transplant. i was diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disease. We both lost our middle class incomes, our cars and benefits, became homeless and hungry, and are now dependent on government assistance to survive. Yes, we wondered why and how? Brutal, right? However, we also had our three wonderful, talented and loving kids to keep a steady flow of joy in our lives. Resiliently, they each soared spiritually and educationally, and crafted talents unseen in my husband and I. Each have continued to gain their own acclamations, and experience once in a lifetime opportunities. The eldest will be entering college this fall. Wonderful, right?
My grandma taught me that if you live long enough, you will experience a journey that has unspeakable peaks and valleys. Its your fight back from the lows that will advance you to, and prepare you for, the next level of your life’s journey. It’s a wonderful, brutiful, life.
Simone – thank you for your comment and for sharing some of your story. Blessings to you and your husband as you navigate the “brutiful” nature of life. My prayer for you both is for healing and peace!
There can be no form without void, substance without emptiness. If you haven’t already, you should read TAO The Watercourse Way by Alan Watts and Al Chung-Liang Huang. The section on Yin and Yang speaks to your blog topic as well.
Peace, Wellness and Blessings
Thanks Richard!
At last, somnoee comes up with the “right” answer!
hi mate,some people do find it a little odd at 1st and experience coughing, but that is usually down to the way they inhale i find.i took to vaping immediately without any coughing, but my wife coughed her tits up every time she took a drag, lolpractise with different ways of inhaling and im positive you will soon have it sorted cheersscott