The holiday season is now in full swing. If you’re anything like me you probably have mixed feelings about the holidays. I love the excitement, parties, decorations, rituals, music, gifts, connections, and more. However, even these fun things can wear on me. And, the stress, drama, consumption, obligation, expense, and more that often come along with this time of year are not on my list of “favorite things.”
In addition, I often feel like I’m not doing enough, not on top of my “list,” and I sometimes worry that I won’t get everything done in time to make the people in my life happy the way I want to. Can you relate?
This year, especially with all that’s going on around us in the economy and the world, what if we each made a commitment to appreciate the holiday season and enjoy the whole experience – regardless of our circumstances or any external pressure we may feel? Appreciating the holiday season, as with anything in life, will make it much more enjoyable and much less stressful.
Instead of rushing around in a high state of anxiety and worry about crossing every item off of our never-ending to-do list, we could choose another way – one which will make this holiday season enjoyable, fun, and peaceful for us and those around us.
Here are a few things we can remember this holiday season to make things more fulfilling and less overwhelming:
1) Take Responsibility for Your Experience. It’s important to remember that the stress we experience during the holiday season does not come from the holidays themselves, but from us. We’re always the creators of our own experience and the more we can remember this and live our lives from this perspective, the more empowered we are. When we stop thinking, speaking, and acting as if we’re mere victims of holiday madness (or anything else in our lives for that matter), we can dramatically enhance our enjoyment and lower our stress.
2) Remember That You Are at Choice. We always have a choice about how we engage with anything. This holiday season we can choose to be annoyed by family members, obligations, forced work gatherings, crowds, prices, or anything else. Or, we can choose to enjoy the magic and fun of this time of year. We may not always get to choose the people and circumstances around us, but we always have a choice about how we relate to them. Our experience of the holidays (and of life) is up to us, as it always is.
3) Focus on What You Appreciate About the Holidays. Consciously choose to focus on the things that you appreciate about the holiday season the most. Tell the truth about this to yourself and to those around you. If at all possible, don’t participate in work or family gatherings out of obligation. But, regardless of where you are, what you do, or whom you are with – make a commitment to appreciate what’s happening, the people around you, and the many blessings of this season and in your life right now.
Even and especially when things are challenging, we always have so much to be grateful for. At this time of the year, we can take a step back, breathe deeply, and experience the gratitude we have for our lives, the people in it, and for ourselves. If not now, then when?
While there are always things for us to do, gifts to buy, gatherings to attend, and much more going on at this time of year; we can choose to have this holiday season be one that is filled with authentic peace, gratitude, and joy – if we’re willing to look for, find, and focus on what we appreciate.
How do you relate to the holidays? What can you do or shift to have this holiday season be one you truly enjoy and appreciate? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.
Sheryl Schlameuss Berger says
Mike,
This is a very timely and inspirational article. In addition to all your wonderful suggestions, it is essential for each of us to take some “serenity time” (even a few minutes) each day to be in that calm, focused, grounded place. Even 15 minutes of relaxation, meditation, or peaceful introspection will help revitalize us and gain that better perspective of appreciation and joy. Be kind to others — but also make the time to be kind to yourself!
Sheryl Schlameuss Berger, RMT
Deanna Flinn says
Hi Mike,
I really enjoy your email updates, not only are they full of juicy stuff but always so timely. I found you while on my Mondo Beyondo journey this past summer and I’m very glad.
I am struggling with being alone, and have been for some time. Most of the year its fine, enjoyable for me in fact. But this time of year poses what I call ‘compulsory fun’ and I have a hard time with those obligations that come mostly from work. We have an office decoration party which is great and a tubing event at a local ski hill to top it off. But today I get presented with more festivities and bah humbugged them away quickly. Now there is talk of a departmental gathering and secret Santa. Enough is enough and it really struck a nerve because it magnifies for me being alone and lonely during the holidays.
Any advice on how to cope and not let this become the overwhelming feeling it does for me each year?
Thanks
Deanna, Vancouver, BC Canada
Susan says
Mike
Thank you for this reflection on choosing.
I am so grateful for the message “I get to…”.
Today is the first time I have met/ heard you and I am really impressed with your authenticity and your ability to be in the experience and not lie!!!!
Thank you
Susan
Pamela Miles says
Mike,
Appreciate you sharing your suggestions and perspective, thanks! I hope that everyone that reads your blog takes the opportunity to stay grounded with great success!
You will like Tim Gallwey’s new book, The Inner Game of Stress, http://www.innergameofstress.com Tim shares some very simple tools that can really make a difference and impact on a person’s life (and health). They area along the same lines as your suggestions.
Happy Holi-daze (hehehe)!
Pam
Letitia says
Life is about living it. Not about how you finish it. . Yo;u&8217#re a lot like wood- in the spring and winter you seem to be a little more restless- adjusting to the humidity. Then when you settle into the new season, you are happy and focused on what you enjoy the most. The farmer and your kids.