How comfortable are you with being uncomfortable? I know this may seem like a paradoxical question, but it’s not. In fact, Michelle and I took a workshop this past weekend where they emphasized the importance of being uncomfortable – related to expanding our growth, success, fulfillment, and more.
Over the past few days I’ve been taking some real inventory of my own life and looking at how willing (or unwilling) I am to be uncomfortable myself. I notice that in certain areas of my life, I’m quite willing to be uncomfortable; while in others, not so much.
There seems to be a direct relationship between my willingness to be uncomfortable and how much excitement, creativity, and abundance I experience in a particular area of my life (both now and in the past). In other words, the more willing I am to be uncomfortable, the more I find myself growing, accomplishing, and transforming. On the flip side, the less willing I am to be uncomfortable, the more stress, resignation, and suffering I experience.
Our egos are highly trained at keeping us “safe” and making sure we avoid any and all “risks.” However, it’s difficult (if not impossible) for us to take our lives, our work, and our relationships to where we truly want them to be if we’re not willing to be uncomfortable in the process.
Being uncomfortable doesn’t necessarily mean that things have to be overly painful, dramatic, or challenging (although sometimes they will). When we’re uncomfortable it’s usually because we’re doing or saying something new, we have something important at stake, or we’re taking an essential risk. These are all beautiful and critical aspects of life and growth. Think of the most important areas of your life, your work, and your relationships – I bet there were and still are elements of these important things that are uncomfortable for you.
When we’re willing to be uncomfortable, we lean into our fear, try new things, and go for it in a bold and authentic way. It doesn’t mean we know exactly what we’re doing (in many cases we won’t). It also doesn’t mean we won’t fail (which, of course, we will at times).
We all have the capacity to be uncomfortable – we’ve been doing it our entire life (learning to walk, talk, ride a bike, drive a car, do our work, and so much more). However, instead of trying to “survive” the uncomfortable aspects of life – what if we embraced them, acknowledged ourselves for our willingness, and even sought out new, unique, and growth-inducing ways to make ourselves uncomfortable consciously?
Here are a few things you can think about and do to enhance your own willingness to be uncomfortable.
1) Take inventory of your life. Where are you willing to be uncomfortable and where are you not? The more honest you can be with yourself about your own willingness (or lack thereof), the more able you’ll be to make some important adjustments and changes. Be authentic and compassionate with yourself as you make this inquiry.
2) Identify your fears. There is always a specific fear (or a set of fears) that exists underneath all of our resistance. When we’re not willing to be uncomfortable, it’s usually because we’re scared. If we can admit, own, and express our fears in an honest and vulnerable way, we can liberate ourselves from their negative grip.
3) Create support and accountability around you. The best way I know of to challenge ourselves and step out of our comfort zone, is to elicit the support of others and make sure we get them to hold us accountable. There may be important things for you to do – that you know will take your life, work, and relationships to the next level – but they seem intimidating (i.e. uncomfortable). Getting people you trust and respect to help you, coach you, and push you is one of the best ways to make it happen – even and especially if you’re not sure how, or worried you can’t do it.
Being uncomfortable is, well, uncomfortable. But, it’s one of the most important things for us to embrace if we want to live a life of real meaning, purpose, and passion.
How willing are you to be uncomfortable? What can you do right now to consciously step into being uncomfortable for the purpose of your growth, expansion, and fulfillment? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.
Peny says
I have found that not only in new things, but in things that I have faced over and over again, I find myself fearful and unwilling to be “uncomfortable” and choosing to avoid things that I know I want to do because I am afraid of doing them in front of people.
As I take inventory of my fears and areas of discomfort, I notice that I am less stressed in front of strangers and more stressed in front of those who mean something to me. Seems a bit backward, doesn’t it?
DawnaLove says
I love this message. Upon reflection, during the recovery process, I see clearly that when I was willing to feel the discomfort of new behavior or action, I stepped into another dimension of my best self. This fact encourages me to continue the process. I appreciate the part where you said, “at times we will fail.” I have come to understand on a profound level that what appears to be failure is truly an opportunity for growth. It’s really a win-win situation. I am truly grateful for the inner wisdom that is revealed to me each time I am willing to release that which does not serve my higher purpose. I am humbled each time I witness the unconditional love, from the One who loves me, just as I am. I understand my responsibility is to love and to live. The practice part is another thing lol. The crucial thing I have found, when sitting with discomfort, is to continually develop self-love, especially for my inner child. It is this pure essence that is the truth. So I pay attention. Namaste’.
Cary Bayer says
Mike,
Love what you’re doing about appreciation and gratitude. I call appreciation an “inner” vitamin & teach a 2-minute method for anyone to embody it easily. If you’d like to check out a recent blog about it, go to https://carybayer.com/wordpress/?p=314